The Rest of The Brians

A day late, but here are the “minor awards” from the movies I saw last year. This is my favorite part of The Brians, even if this year did not have as much rich material.

Best Music: “Hot Tub Time Machine.” You can’t go wrong with a movie partially set in 1988. The soundtrack features The Replacements, New Order and The English Beat among others. The hot tub wasn’t the only thing which bent the laws of physics. The music includes a few songs which came out after 1988, but when one of them is “Kickstart Your Heart” by Motley Crüe, I can look the other way.

Best Flashback: The mirror scene in “Hot Tub Time Machine.” As the guys try and figure out what happened in the hot tub, they go to the mirror and see their teenage visages, punctuated by Craig Robinson’s character sporting a hi-top fade, a la Kid from Kid ‘n Play. A great little touch I think only could have been improved if they had managed to use an image of John Cusack from “Say Anything” or “The Sure Thing” in the mirror.

Best Sale of Soul to the Devil: David Cross. Cross is one of those misanthropic “comedians” who likes to tell “jokes” which really just illuminate how he thinks he’s so much smarter and worthy than peons who aren’t faux-intellectual like he is. The guy was amazing in “Arrested Development” but he threw his credibility in the toilet when he was in the first Alvin and the Chipmunks movie and then he flushed everything away when he appeared in the sequel squeakuel. I understand actors how what they have to do to make a buck and get his assertion that the movies paid for his summer house and stuff, but that pretty much assures I shouldn’t listen to anything you ever say on stage with your pathetic Joaquin Phoenix beard making fun of people who aren’t as elite as you because you’re just a low-class whore who will do anything to have a nice house.  You rightly accussed Larry the Cable Guy of taking advantage of people with anti-intellectual humor, then did the same.

Worst use of 3-D: Alice in Wonderland. I really want those few extra dollars back. They really just used the technology to show you when people were standing in front of each other.

Best Stunt Casting (tie): Mark Wahlberg’s abs and Eva Mendes’ boobs. I could not decide between the over-the-top hunk who helped rescue Tina Fey and Steve Carell in “Date Night” and the stunning wife who Will Ferrell’s character in “The Other Guys” tried to put down for her looks. I’m a sucker for cheap visual jokes.

Author: brian

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