Un-American

Posted inAmerica, Columns, Things I Hate

We went to a party at a friend’s house a couple of weeks ago. They used to be teachers, and they continue to throw an “End of the School Year” cookout. The party coincides with their oldest child’s ninth birthday. The day after the cookout, they were taking him out for a special birthday dinner.

He got to choose anything he wanted. When I was 9, I would have wanted pizza. Or hamburgers. Or pizza and hamburgers.

He chose sushi.

I had to wrap my mind around the concept of a 9-year-old even being exposed to sushi much less choosing it for a special birthday dinner.

What is happening to this country? Children don’t like sushi. Children don’t know sushi.

Children eat pizza or hamburgers on their birthday. Sushi is completely un-American.

Thriller

Posted inColumns, Family

We started a very important stretch of the summer this past week. I really need to stay focused or everything could come crashing down around me. It’s carnival season.

Up until a few years ago, I had never visited any of our local carnivals. Then we had a kid, and I needed to entertain her somehow.

I’m totally hooked. You know those TV shows with parents obsessed with making their kids into sports stars or actors? Well, I’m gonna be a carnival Dad.

I need Bridget to love carnivals and amusement parks. Need.

10 Minutes

Posted inColumns

I read about a research study the other day that has finally determined a question we all have. How late is late? You have a good 10 minutes and 17 seconds before you should call and say you are late. Well, at least that’s according to some British researchers.

They always seem to be so darn polite over there, maybe we could get away with waiting a little longer.

I love this kind of news because I’m not always the most prompt guy in the world. I need to set my clock a little fast sometimes so I don’t get a late start.

But that always backfires because I mentally adjust the time I added whenever I glance at the clock. I don’t know why I even bother.

I’ll Fix Europe

Posted inColumns, Things I Hate

I read the other day that the French voted against the proposed European constitution. The Dutch have also voted against it, but the first move pretty much doomed the document from ever being adopted. At first, I wanted to rail against the French for being stupid and ruining everything for the rest of the world, just like they always do. Then I realized that the problem didn’t lie with the French. Well, not the whole problem because we can pretty much assign a little bit of blame for everything to the French.

That’s what makes them the French.