Attention to Detail

Posted inColumns, Family, Fashion, I Forgot My Shoes, Making an Idiot Out of Myself

Everything was perfect. We arrived at the hotel in New Jersey last Sunday with plenty of time to spare before my nephew’s wedding.

We found one of my sibling’s rooms and made plans on where to meet before going to the church.

We enjoyed some of the complimentary microwave popcorn that the hotel provided so we wouldn’t starve before dinner at the reception.

We even got to watch some of an Austin Powers movie while we got dressed. Like I said, everything was perfect.

Until I went to put on my shoes.

Watch Your Cornhole

Posted inColumns, Cornhole, Family

One of the great things about a family vacation is the things you learn. Maybe a sibling tells you a secret. Maybe you discover a new place to eat. Or maybe you discover the greatest game in the history of the world.

I started to play cornhole down the beach.

Possum Hunting

Posted inColumns

When we bought our house, we chose an in-town location for several reasons. We liked the price. We liked being able to walk downtown. We liked our quiet street. I had one other reason for liking the location. I wouldn’t have to deal with any wild animals. I grew up in the suburbs. We did live near some woods so we had to deal with mice a few times growing up. Other than that, I limited my exposure to animals to visits to the zoo.

It’s not just wild animals. My mother-in-law used to own a couple of horses. Maria took me in the pasture once and I nearly fainted.

I fear a new animal now, but it’s a little smaller than a horse. Actually, it’s a lot smaller than a horse.

We have an opossum visiting our yard.

My Destiny

Posted inColumns, Making an Idiot Out of Myself

As I approach the end of my 37th year, I have had an epiphany. I finally realize my true calling. I exist to give people something to laugh at.

Don’t mistake this for a pity party. I’m pretty excited actually. I have slowly come to grips with my ability to make a fool out of myself.

My moment of clarity came 10 days ago when I fell down Federal Hill in Baltimore.

I didn’t actually fall as much as I careened down the top slope of the downtown landmark. Somehow, I got it in my head that I could race a friend to the bottom.

Luckily, she realized the folly of that idea and had a wonderful view from the top as I hurtled out of control to my fate.

Did I mention that all this took place during a department retreat for work and the friends witnessing this exhibition were my co-workers? I sure know how to spice up the day.