Cutting the Cord

Posted inColumns, Music

I have collected a lot of stuff over the years. I can’t really think of any other way to describe it. I just have a lot of stuff. Inevitably, I run out of places to keep this stuff despite my best efforts. If there is something I can do pretty well, it’s hide junk where no one – including myself – will ever see it again. But it’s getting harder.

Some of this stuff haunts me nearly every day. The chair where I usually work on my laptop sits right next to the tower containing my CDs.

I have a pretty decent music collection. Some of the CDs go back to college. I even have the first CD I ever bought in there, R.E.M.’s debut album, “Murmur.”

I also have a bunch of duds. Sometimes I would look over at the stacks of CDs and wonder what possessed me to buy some of the selections.

A few weeks ago, I took a bold step forward. I decided to sell my CDs on eBay.

Sleeping with the Fishes

Posted inColumns, Family, Pets

When my wife told me 10 days ago that the goldfish had died, things went much differently than the other times we had to deal with this situation. She broke the news to me almost as an afterthought.

“Oh, do you want to tell Dad about the fish?” she said to Bridget one night after dinner.

“No, thanks.” Even in her grief, our little girl never forgot her manners.

Can’t It Wait?

Posted inColumns, Family, Things I Hate

My wife asked me a silly question a few weeks ago. A question that bothered me. A question that made me wonder if she had spent the day nipping at the cooking sherry. She asked me what I wanted for Christmas.

I had to look at the calendar to see if I had pulled a Rip van Winkle and slept through all of November. We hadn’t even started to think about Thanksgiving and she wanted me to decide what I wanted for Christmas.

What I really want for Christmas is for people to wait until after Thanksgiving to talk about Christmas presents.

Scooter?

Posted inAmerica, Columns, Stupid Nicknames

Our government has disappointed me greatly. This has nothing to do with who sits on the Supreme Court or anything silly like that. This has to do with a great issue of national security.

How can an adult who voluntarily uses the name “Scooter” get national security clearance?

This issue should cross all political and social lines. America should stand together to right this terrible wrong. I don’t see how we can remain silent.

America may have a serious political problem on its hands, but we can never get to the bottom of the matter as long as we keep having to wrap our minds around the concept of someone named “Scooter” working in The White House without a job that involves delivering mail.