As Americans, we owe a great debt to our heroes. I’m not talking about soldiers and sailors, but the real heroes that protect us from harm within our borders. State legislators.
We have a new hero in Virginia by the name of Algie T. Howell Jr.
Besides surviving numerous beatings as a teenager for the name “Algie,” he has made a great contribution to American politics.
Algie is protecting us from our underwear.
I have looked back at my past few columns and noticed a disturbing trend. I have seemed angry at something – the thermostat, American Idol, people driving in the snow. I don’t like being angry.
Maybe the weather has me down. Maybe the fact that the Game Show Network hasn’t shown “Kenny vs. Spenny” in months is starting to catch up to me. Maybe the thought of the phrase “Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles” has me confused.
All that changes this week. I’ll make things more upbeat by talking about something that will make all of us smile – my future as an Olympic bobsledder.
When I looked out the window at the snow last week, one thought went through my mind. “What is wrong with you people?”
Not you. Well, unless you’re someone who runs to the store in a panic, can’t drive in the snow and can do nothing but complain about the crews trying to clear the snow from the roads.
My wife and I have had an ongoing fight all winter. Don’t worry, this fight won’t involve the police or restraining orders or anyone throwing anything. Well, that is unless I throw some of my belongings on a fire in the middle of the living room.
We’re fighting over control of the thermostat.
Later this week, millions of Americans will lose a few hours of their life forever. I wish I could stop it, but they don’t know any better. They will watch “American Idol.”
I honestly don’t understand why this phenomenon has continued so long. What tragedy has forced us to resort to a karaoke contest to find entertainers?
I did a little shopping after Christmas. I enjoy a bargain just like anyone else, so I wanted to see what I could get on the cheap. I made out OK. I got a DVD (the first season of “Arrested Development”), two pairs of pants and two pairs of shoes.
All told, I spent about $120. I generally would not like to part with that much money for clothes, but the sales helped me pry open my wallet.
Thank goodness I’m not a trendy woman.