The Brians – Regular Guy

The Rest of The Brians

brian — Tue, 03 Mar 2015 16:24:41 +0000

I was supposed to post these last week, but forgot. I wrote it and had it saved, but totally forgot to post because I was headed to Vegas. So here you do – the “minor” awards for The Brians which are actually more fun than the real thing.

The Dorian Gray Award: Felicity Jones for The Theory of Everything. It’s no surprise that this adaptation of Stephen Hawking comes from his wife’s book because Jones does not appear to age one bit as Jane Hawking even though ALS slowly eats away at her husband. The use of soft focus as time went on just cracked me up.

Best Supporting: I gave away awards in this category for actor and actress, but I also need to recognize the big, fake boobs they gave Jane Fonda in This Is Where I Leave You. Well done.

Best Cast: No one gave Monuments Men a second thought after it quickly disappeared from the theater, but I really enjoyed the movie because they hired Bill Murray to play a Bill Murray type and John Goodman to play a John Goodman type and Bob Balaban to play a Bob Balaban type and George Clooney to play a George Clooney type and so on and so forth. It was like the World War II version of Ocean’s Eleven – just a bunch of folks who like each other having fun making a movie. Nothing wrong with that.

Best Fight: A tie between all the fights in This Is Where I Leave You.

Worst Fight: The park fight scene in Anchorman 2. Sometimes, you just need to let a scene breath and stop adding things.

Biggest Surprise: Tyler Perry in Gone Girl. He really did a nice job and made Best Supporting Actor a very crowded field.

The “Is That It?” Award: I’m not saying I wanted to see Ben Affleck’s johnson, but for all the “there’s full frontal male nudity in Gone Girl” hype I heard, it was quite disappointing to realize that no one would have likely noticed it was there if it hadn’t been advertised beforehand. Again, not looking to see his junk, but if you’re gonna do it, go full-on Jason Segal in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Best Song: As if there was any question.

The 2015 Brians

brian — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 15:50:03 +0000

Now that we have that silliness known as The Oscars out of the way, it’s time to focus on the real awards – The Brians.

In case you don’t know, these are the awards recognizing the best in film for movies which I saw in the theater the previous year.

This is a big year for The Brians for a couple of reasons. First of all, I saw at least one movie which actually had Oscar hopes. Secondly, we are back after a hiatus in 2014 since I only saw two movies in the theater in 2013.

Seven movies have a chance to win these prestigious awards: The Lego Movie, Monuments Men, Anchorman 2, 22 Jump Street, This is Where I Leave You, Gone Girl, and The Theory of Everything.

The big five categories are awarded here. Check back here Wednesday, Feb. 25 to see the lesser (and more fun) categories and some behind-the-scenes information.

Best Supporting Actress: Jillian Bell (22 Jump Street). I didn’t know her from her “Workaholics” role, but she blew me away as Mercedes, the judgy girl who ended up running a campus-wide drug ring. Her deadpan snark was one of the keys to making this sequel work.

Best Supporting Actor: Ice Cube (22 Jump Street). Love the Cube. You need great supporting actors to make a sequel work, and his anger at finding his daughter dating Jonah Hill’s character was absolutely perfect. Will Ferrell almost got this for his work in “The Lego Movie,” but he fell just short.

Best Actress: Tina Fey (This Is Where I Leave You). I love almost everything about Jonathan Tropper’s books so the movie adaptation of one of his best works was bound to win something. I liked the film a lot more than most people, mainly because of Fey. She still lives in my heart as Liz Lemon, but her nuanced take of Wendy Altman in this goofy, inappropriate, funny movie made me smile. She even overcame the awkward way they handled the character’s difficulty dealing with her ex-boyfriend.

Best Actor: Eddie Redmayne (The Theory of Everything). Part of me feels like I have to give something to the one movie I saw in 2014 which had a chance to win over the weekend. Thankfully, Eddie Redmayne put on a spectacular performance. He is lucky, however, that I didn’t see Foxcatcher and The Imitation Game until this year. That said, he brought great depth to Stephen Hawking, especially in the early parts of the movie. You could see the tics and problems coming, but they never veered into slapstick for me.

Best Movie: The Lego Movie. Since the academy won’t recognize the greatness of this film, I feel compelled to scream from the mountaintops. Who doesn’t smile when they hear the theme song? Who doesn’t identify with Emmett? Who hasn’t named a work nemesis Lord Business? The bottom line is that entertainment should be fun, and I had the most fun last year during the two hours I watched this film. In the year of Chris Pratt, it would seem wrong to not recognize something he did, and we didn’t get to Guardians of the Galaxy in the theater. Everyone should watch this movie as much as they can, especially when they are feeling down.

Because everything really is awesome.

The Brians Go on Hiatus

brian — Tue, 04 Mar 2014 13:03:20 +0000

I usually find myself in a celebratory mood about this time of week. I’m usually ready to take a wistful look backwards at the year in cinema.

No, not The Oscars. I’m talking about The Brians, the awards I have handed out for the best movies I have seen in the theatre each year since 2003. You know, the important awards.

Sadly, we won’t be celebrating any winners this year. I have to admit that 2013 was a movie-going bust in our house.

I quickly looked into the mug where I keep movie ticket stubs and only found two movies from last year – “Oz: The Great and Powerful” and “Now You See Me.” I can’t justify simply picking between two films.

I definitely wanted to see other movies, but never got a chance. Either we had too much going on or just didn’t feel like schlepping out to the theatre. Eventually, I’ll catch films like “42,” “The Great Gatsby,” “The Way Way Back,” “The To Do List,” “Gravity,” “Captain Phillips” and “Saving Mr. Banks.” I can’t promise anything on “Smurfs 2,” however.

So The Brians are off. But there is good news.

First of all, we have already seen three movies this year – “Anchorman 2,” “Monuments Men” and “The Lego Movie,” so this will only be a one-year hiatus. Secondly, the real reason for the dearth of candidates is pretty important.

We have instituted a new tradition at our house, one that started before 2013, but definitely kept us much too involved to worry about what the movie studios wanted to ram down our throats. On pretty much every Friday, we watch a movie together.

But this is much more than just popping in something which we missed on the big screen. This is an education for our daughter and time machine for my wife and I. Our movie nights typically showcase a classic from the 1980s.

I bet those movies in the list of things we missed could end up delighting and entertaining me, but they would pale in comparison to introducing “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure” or “Real Genius” to a new generation.

We don’t solely focus on the movies that got Maria and I through high school and college, but that is our main focus. The primary goal is to showcase the kind of comedy which helped lay the building blocks for today’s filmmakers.

That goal came into clearer focus with the death of writer/director/actor Harold Ramis last week. We’ve already shared “Meatballs,” “Ghostbusters,” and “Groundhog Day” and hope the lessons from those films got across.

Of course, we will probably have to hold off on “Stripes,” “Caddyshack” and “Animal House” for a few years, but I like knowing that we have more to look forward to in this project.

We have so many entertainment choices – current and classic – it’s OK once in a while to look back and remember what got us here. The Brians will return. They just needed some time to remember why movies mean so much in the first place.

Time for The Brians

brian — Sun, 24 Feb 2013 22:38:38 +0000

Each year, people analyze the quality of the field vying for movie awards. They proclaim whether it’s a “good year” for The Oscars.

I think 2012 will go down as one of those years which people will say that the field for The Brians – my yearly awards for the movies I see in the theater – didn’t have a lot of depth, but it had plenty of quality.

Seven movies have qualified for the 2012 edition of the awards, five fewer than last year. The nominees are “Argo,” “Skyfall,” “21 Jump Street,” “The Lorax,” “Wreck It Ralph,” “Fun Size” and “Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days.”

As you can tell, the majority of my movie attendance came with my daughter, not my wife, in 2012. I don’t really know why. I guess we just had a busy year and never found huge motivation to see the many movies we considered, but didn’t seem worthy of a night out.

Looking back at the 2012 releases, I think “Lincoln” really ranks as the only regret. Probably “Ted” as well, but everything else we considered didn’t push my buttons. Far too often, we simply figured we could watch the latest romantic or stupid comedy on Netflix.

I guess that makes this year’s winners even more special. They had that quality which convinced my lazy and cheap self to actually go outside and interact with other people.

Best Supporting Actress: Judi Dench, “Skyfall.” Dench rose above the typical criteria for this award – pretty eye-candy or wacky sidekick) with her final performance as M in this thriller. She gave the role the humanity and bite it needed in this new era of 007.

Best Supporting Actor: Alan Arkin, “Argo.” I almost honored the entire supporting cast of “21 Jump Street.” From Rob Riggle to Nick Offerman to Ellie Kemper, that film populated the background with an all-star troupe of comic actors. But Arkin made the hostage drama much more believable (even though it’s a true story) and, like Dench, provided the humanity to elevate the tension.

Best Actress: Peyton List, “Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days.” I had trouble with this one since the non-tween movies had male-dominated casts. I considered not giving the award, but thought the performance of List (who was not really a lead, but I’ll elevate her for this) and Victoria Justice in “Fun Size” deserved consideration. List made the antics of Greg Heffley much more realistic.

Best Actor: Channing Tatum, “21 Jump Street.” We know Ben Affleck can act. We know Daniel Craig has turned into James Bond. But we didn’t know that Tatum could do comedy before this film. That’s why he gets the nod. The movie could have been a horrible re-boot of an old television series, but a clever script and Tatum’s strong performance made the difference. I hope he tries more comedies.

The Bridget: “Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days.” This award just won’t die. The movies I see with my daughter occupy a totally different space and deserve recognition. This is the second movie in this series to win the award. I really love how they have adapted these books to the screen.

Best Movie: “Skyfall.” How can you not love Bond? I found “Argo” fascinating and gripping, but it still can’t beat this franchise. From the up-to-date (and creepy) villain to the fight scenes and the improbably escapes, 007 commands the screen at all times. I can’t wait for the next one.

In a Previously Recorded Ceremony …

brian — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 16:17:29 +0000

The Brians posted earlier, but we have some other awards to give out before the big show. Without further ado:

Best Use of an Obscenity: The audience at my showing of We Bought a Zoo sure thought they had paid to see a wacky romp about kids growing up in a zoo. They got a heavier than expected dose of family drama punctuated by the 7-year-old Rosie Mee telling the zoo inspector played by John Michael Higgins, “You know, everybody here thinks you’re a dick. I don’t know what that means, but I don’t think that.” Sadly, I could not find a clip of this moment online, but I did find lots of self-righteous bloggers complaining about it. The best part was the pause right after she said “dick” so you could hear all the grandmothers in the audience gasp. My 11-year-old still giggles when this moment comes up in conversation so I must say, well done, Cameron Crowe.

Best Cameo Appearance: Jim Parsons as the human version of Walter the Muppet almost brought me out of my seat with laughter. Considering the publicity the movie got, I’m a little surprised I hadn’t heard about this. I usually don’t worry about “spoilers,” but that was one gag which worked best with the element of surprise.

Best Shtick Which Shouldn’t Work But Did: The camouflage clothing gag from Sherlock Holmes. I don’t know why I didn’t see it coming as part of the story’s resolution, but they did it in such a clever manner that it totally snuck up on me.

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back Award: Jason Segal did wonderful work in The Muppets and Bad Teacher, but really disappointed me by taking part in the Gulliver’s Travels mess.

The Movie That Time Forgot: Even though it came out in 2010, we didn’t see The King’s Speech until January 2011. I kind of feel bad I didn’t really consider it for any awards, but it just didn’t have a lasting effect on me. I really loved the film and think Colin Firth and Helena Bonham Carter had wonderful performances, but just didn’t find them compelling enough to lift to the top spot.

Best Song: Mahna, Mahna in The Muppets. Try to get it out of your head. I dare you.

Tenth Anniversary of The Brians

brian — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 10:08:23 +0000

The idea came to me in a flash 10 years ago. I don’t care about the Oscars, but I love movies. So why not pay homage to the films I like?

That’s how The Brians came to be. Thank you for joining me for the 2011 edition where I will bestow awards to the best performances from movies I saw in the theater last year.

Twelve movies are eligible: We Bought a Zoo, Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, Happy Feet 2, Moneyball, Horrible Bosses, Kung Fu Panda 2, Bad Teacher, Bridesmaids, The Muppets, Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Roderick Rules, The King’s Speech and Gulliver’s Travels.

This only covers the major awards. The minor (and more fun) honorees will be posted later today.

Best Supporting Actress: Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids. A rare time when this category actually goes to someone for their acting. Also a rare time when this award intersects with Oscar potential. I can’t say much more than others have. McCarthy killed it in this very funny movie.

Best Supporting Actor: Chris Pratt, Moneyball. I went back and forth on this one but could not shake this performance. Pratt, best known for playing a dope in the sitcom Parks and Recreation, provided depth and pathos to his portrayal of Scott Hatteberg. He even made me forgive Hatteberg for some of his performances on my fantasy baseball team.

Best Actress: Kristen Wiig, Bridesmaids. Since the supporting actress award usually goes to someone just for their looks, I almost gave this to two-time winner Amy Adams for her role in The Muppets. But Wiig, like her co-star McCarthy, made Bridesmaids more than a female version of The Hangover with her clever and wacky performance.

Best Actor: Charlie Day, Horrible Bosses. A lot of people could have won this one, but Day, who I love in the dark sitcom It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, stood out in his first major movie role. He played Dale, the sexually harassed dental hygienist, with a fantastic balance of humor and humanity. Plus, the cocaine scene alone should get him more leading roles.

The Bridget: Kung Fu Panda 2. Each year I think I will have to retire this category, which honors a movie I only went to because of my daughter. They keep cranking out good movies suitable for the whole family, and this one stood out just the the original did two years ago when it won. They didn’t take the lazy way out on the sequel and actually created an entertaining movie.

Best Movie: The Muppets. I may have wanted to give this award away before I even saw the film. Growing up watching The Muppet Show made me anticipate this film more than a grown man should, but the cast rewarded me with performances that showed they loved the idea just as much as I did. Jason Segal did a wonderful job protecting the memory of the original and brought his own touch to the effort. I worried about the introduction of a new character, but Walter provided the perfect re-entry into the special world of the Muppets.

Nominations for The Brians Announced

brian — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 14:23:20 +0000

So a bunch of people I know are going crazy because the Oscar nominations came out today. That only means one thing – horribly overwrought examination of what people wear to an awards show is just around the corner!

OK, it means two things, that first thing and that The Brians will be coming up soon. If you don’t know, The Brians are my yearly awards for movies which I saw in the theater in the previous year. This year, I believe 12 movies will be eligible. I say “I believe” because I only looked at what I posted about online and already notice that I somehow never blogged about seeing The Muppets. That means I need to go check my ticket stubs to make sure I didn’t leave anything out.

Anyways, the qualifying movies for The 2012 Brians are:

We Bought a Zoo
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
Happy Feet 2
Moneyball
Horrible Bosses
Kung Fu Panda 2
Bad Teacher
Bridesmaids
The Muppets
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Roderick Rules
The King’s Speech
Gulliver’s Travels

The Brians will be announced on Feb. 28 in my weekly column in The Evening Sun. Secondary awards will appear online later that week.

The Rest of The Brians

brian — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 18:58:06 +0000

A day late, but here are the “minor awards” from the movies I saw last year. This is my favorite part of The Brians, even if this year did not have as much rich material.

Best Music: “Hot Tub Time Machine.” You can’t go wrong with a movie partially set in 1988. The soundtrack features The Replacements, New Order and The English Beat among others. The hot tub wasn’t the only thing which bent the laws of physics. The music includes a few songs which came out after 1988, but when one of them is “Kickstart Your Heart” by Motley Crüe, I can look the other way.

Best Flashback: The mirror scene in “Hot Tub Time Machine.” As the guys try and figure out what happened in the hot tub, they go to the mirror and see their teenage visages, punctuated by Craig Robinson’s character sporting a hi-top fade, a la Kid from Kid ‘n Play. A great little touch I think only could have been improved if they had managed to use an image of John Cusack from “Say Anything” or “The Sure Thing” in the mirror.

Best Sale of Soul to the Devil: David Cross. Cross is one of those misanthropic “comedians” who likes to tell “jokes” which really just illuminate how he thinks he’s so much smarter and worthy than peons who aren’t faux-intellectual like he is. The guy was amazing in “Arrested Development” but he threw his credibility in the toilet when he was in the first Alvin and the Chipmunks movie and then he flushed everything away when he appeared in the sequel squeakuel. I understand actors how what they have to do to make a buck and get his assertion that the movies paid for his summer house and stuff, but that pretty much assures I shouldn’t listen to anything you ever say on stage with your pathetic Joaquin Phoenix beard making fun of people who aren’t as elite as you because you’re just a low-class whore who will do anything to have a nice house. You rightly accussed Larry the Cable Guy of taking advantage of people with anti-intellectual humor, then did the same.

Worst use of 3-D: Alice in Wonderland. I really want those few extra dollars back. They really just used the technology to show you when people were standing in front of each other.

Best Stunt Casting (tie): Mark Wahlberg’s abs and Eva Mendes’ boobs. I could not decide between the over-the-top hunk who helped rescue Tina Fey and Steve Carell in “Date Night” and the stunning wife who Will Ferrell’s character in “The Other Guys” tried to put down for her looks. I’m a sucker for cheap visual jokes.

Move Over Oscars, Here are The Brians

brian — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 16:42:23 +0000

Nine years ago, I had an idea. I decided that since I had no connection to the movies honored by Hollywood at the Oscars, I needed to come up with my own awards. That’s how I decided to start The Brians, a contest run solely by me to determine the best movies of the previous year based on which movies I saw on the big screen.

Ten movies qualified for the 2010 awards: The Other Guys, A Team, Toy Story 3, Date Night, Valentine’s Day, Hot Tub Time Machine, Alice in Wonderland, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Alvin and the Chipmunks 2: The Squeakuel and Despicable Me.

The minor (and more fun) categories will be posted later. But let’s get to the main honors before Sunday’s winners get over their hangovers and realize they have been overshadowed.

Best Supporting Actress: All the women from “Valentine’s Day.” Since I don’t pay that much attention to pop culture gossip, I sometimes have difficulty telling Jennifer Garner from Jessica Biel from Anne Hathaway from Jessica Alba. They are all pretty brunettes, and they all ended up in this romantic comedy which entertained me enough to honor them as a group.

Best Supporting Actor: Michael Keaton, “The Other Guys.” If these awards existed in the early to mid-980s, he would have had a Will Ferrell-level of dominance, but he’ll just have to settle for stealing the show in this better-than-expected Ferrell vehicle as the TLC-quoting, Bed, Bath &Beyond-moonlighting police captain who is named after a famous baseball manager.

Best Actress: Tina Fey, “Date Night.” She didn’t disappoint me in a movie where I expected I might get disappointed. Really a bad year for this category.

Best Actor: Liam Neeson, “The A Team.” I often worry about re-makes and questioned this casting choice fro the start, but Neeson brought a new edge to the Hannibal character, much like Daniel Craig did for James Bond a few years back. I know this film didn’t wow the critics, but Neeson led an effort which kept me entertained.

The Bridget: “Diary of a Wimpy Kid.” This honor goes to the best kid’s movie I saw all year. I knew nothing headed into the theater for this one except that these books were very popular with the pre-teen set. They did a wonderful job keeping the charming aspects of the books while also making a pretty funny movie.

Best Movie: “Toy Story 3.” When I saw “Hot Tub Time Machine,” I thought nothing could wrest this award away from that goofy 80’s romp. I could not have been more wrong. At a time where we need to realize the difference between sentimentality and revisionist history in our daily lives, Pixar came up with an emotional gut-punch that took this film beyond its cute origins. Andy turned into a window for all the adults to look into, possibly to wonder if the choices we make today match those the idealistic 18-year-old would expect.

At least that’s how I saw it – a call to always remember to have fun, use our imagination and not take things too seriously. It was either that or the talking Army men. Doesn’t really matter. It was just an awesome movie.

The Red Carpet

brian — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 00:05:46 +0000

Tonight, I started working on one of my most favorite columns I write each year – The Brians. Basically, this is my take on the Oscars, but only movies I saw in the theater are eligible. I relaxed the rules one year because we hardly ever got out to the cinema, but that was it.

This will mark the ninth year of these awards. Go here to check out the history of The Brians. This year, I will choose from 10 movies:

The main categories remain the same, Best Supporting Actor and Actress, Best Actor and Actress, The Bridget (for movies aimed at kids) and Best Movie. These awards will appear in my regular column in The Evening Sun next Tuesday (March 1). I will post the column online here that morning. The day before, I will post a column of secondary awards, which are the most fun to pick to tell the truth.

So get ready for the fun.