A Foiled Nap

brian — Mon, 26 Jun 2006 04:05:53 +0000

I took the day off from work on Thursday to watch the U.S. crash out of the World Cup. I had a busy night Wednesday and got to sleep late. I was so excited about the match, I couldn’t sleep in.

Time for a nap, right?

Not a chance, due to my poor planning.

You see, naps have a special place in my heart. I can think of few things more satisfying than a god nap. And the things more satisfying than a nap – like a good meal – lead to a good nap.

Part of the anatomy of a great nap is how it fits into your day. Crash too early and you might feel disoriented for the rest of the day. Falling asleep too late could keep you up later than you want and ruin the next day.

Naps are serious business.

I remember setting up two friends of mine in college. Brett, who loved a nap possibly more than anyone I have ever known, came away really impressed with Emily.

She was cute and funny and nice. But she liked naps too. That’s what impressed him the most. They compared their favorite nap times and a relationship was born. They split at some point a few years later, which is probably for the better. He probably would have slept through their wedding.

Anyway, I woke up Thursday with my heart set on a nice mid-afternoon nap. By lunch time, I realized that it would never happen.

The result of the soccer game had something to do with that. I was way to upset and distracted to possibly fall asleep.

But even if I wanted to, I set up an eye doctor’s appointment at 2:45 in the afternoon.

What was I thinking? I knew I needed to have my contacts checked, but I could do that any night. Why did I pick the middle of the afternoon on a day off?

Because of the game, we didn’t eat lunch until 1, which made a nap before my appointment useless. I wouldn’t get to sleep long enough to make it worth my while.

By the time I got back from my exam, I would have ruined the chance at a good night’s sleep so I had to soldier on for the rest of the day.

The worst part about this is that my wife doesn’t understand any of this. She is a non-believer when it comes to naps.

Somehow, I have stayed married to her for almost 11 years now. The worst part is that my daughter feels the same way.

I just don’t understand it. Where did I go wrong?

Who doesn’t love a good nap? Nothing is more American than inspecting the inside of your eyelids in the middle of the day while a boring TV shows keeps you company.

I survived the day without one. I’m not really sure how, though. A hot day, not enough sleep, golf on television. The recipe was perfect.

I need to remember to plan ahead next time.

Help Me Sleep

brian — Sun, 20 Mar 2005 18:10:44 +0000

I love sleep. Nothing feels better than curling up in a warm bed and drifting off. But something has changed about sleep as I get older. I generally wake up four or five times a night. I glance at the clock, figure out how much longer I have until I need to wake up, then fall right back asleep. I get a lot of sleep, but it is broken into smaller segments.

I probably should be more worried about my sleeping habits, but I don’t feel overly tired so I just let it slide. I actually should be mad because I have never had sleeping problems in the past.

As a kid, I was so difficult to wake up that one of my siblings would have to carry me upstairs for breakfast. I was just a little spoiled.

When they got me upstairs, I would curl up on the top step outside our kitchen to try and catch a little more shuteye. And I would make the rest of the family eat breakfast with the kitchen lights off so as not to disturb my slumber.

OK, I was really spoiled.

As I got older, I was less demanding about my sleep pattern, but I managed to get as much sleep as possible. Like any teenager, I would stay up as late as possible and sleep pretty much all of the morning on weekends and in the summer.

Things accelerated when I got to college. Sometimes, I could schedule my classes around my sleep patterns.

I could make sure to have a 9:20 class, but nothing else until the afternoon. That way, I could get enough sleep to make it through class and still catch a nap without impacting my lunch plans.

But the more people I met at college, the more I realized that I was a rank amateur. My friend Brett could have turned pro in sleeping, which would have been beneficial because his love of the nap pretty much sunk his academic career.

I remember introducing Brett to a girl I knew who wanted to date him. They hit it off, but I couldn’t believe what they talked about.

Naps. They compared the best times to nap. They shared their opinions on the best place to nap. They swapped notes on the most comfortable place to nap.

Now that’s dedication to your sleep.

I tried to monkey with my sleeping patterns even as an adult, working odd shifts at the newspaper and enjoying the freedom to sleep all afternoon after pulling an overnight shift.

Then we had a kid. And sleep turned into a chore instead of a pleasure.

First of all, Bridget doesn’t believe in napping. She won’t even consider crashing for a few hours in the afternoon, which means my nap opportunities are limited.

Secondly, I know pretty much know when I have to wake up with a 4-year-old in the house. I have a human alarm clock instead of staying in bed as long as I want.

Maybe that’s why I wake up so much. I know someone is going to come and get me eventually. Unfortunately, she can’t carry me to the kitchen.

Naps – Regular Guy

A Foiled Nap

Help Me Sleep