Now That’s Funny – Regular Guy

Awkward Workplace Encounters

brian — Thu, 26 Mar 2020 14:03:29 +0000

During this time of social isolation and working from home, some of us may miss those awkward interactions we have with co-workers every day. My new video series aims to help fill that void.

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Safe Keeping

brian — Thu, 14 Nov 2019 15:19:11 +0000

Ah, that time in 2013 when I needed the safe in my hotel room for work documents, but it was locked so the security guy came to unlock it for me, and we found two cans of Bud Light inside the safe and then stood there and wondered aloud for a good five minutes about why someone would lock two cans of Bud Light in a hotel room safe and then leave them there.

Street Kayaking

brian — Sun, 21 Jul 2013 19:02:41 +0000

When I woke up last Friday, I knew we had a problem on our hands. The morning of our last full day at the beach brought a whole lot of rain.

We had already weathered the storm – literally. The rain came the day before as well, but we filled the time with crafts, Bingo and a group viewing of “Sharknado.”

I didn’t know what another rainy day would bring, however. We got very lucky with some incredible weather to start the week, and, in reality, we have had great weather for a number of years straight.

But what’s a group of close to 50 family members to do when the weather turns sour – really sour – on vacation?

Kayak in the street, that’s what.

The whole thing started, at least in my mind, as a joke. The road in front of the side-by-side houses two of my sisters rented started to flood. This brought back memories of family members putting a rubber raft in a flooded culvert on a trip many years ago.

One of the houses near the flooding this year happened to have a half-dozen kayaks available to renters. At some point in the mid-morning, Facebook messages started flying about whether the road had enough water to make kayaking possible.

I decided to hop into the shower and see what the rest of the day would hold. After I got dressed, I discovered an urgent voice mail from one of my sisters. My house was just a block from the flooding.

“You have to come out of your house and see what’s going on down the street.”

I grabbed my umbrella, realizing within just a few seconds that trying to stay dry would never succeed, and smiled when I saw the scene.

We didn’t just have one intrepid family member testing the kayaking theory. Several folks paddled up and down the flooded street while many others passed on umbrellas and hats, splashing around in their bathing suits.

Suffice to say, we had started to create one of the all-time best memories in my family’s 25-plus years of going to Bethany Beach.

There were kayak races and “rescues” of folks who lost control and ended up in the bushes. An enterprising group even used tin foil to dress up on of my nephews as the “Sharknado.”

Cars passing on the nearby main streets stopped to take photos or video of this crazy crew (ranging from 3 to 60) making the best of a rainy day at the beach. Some even drove by, threw the car in reverse to make sure they saw what they thought they saw, then captured the scene on their phone.

Some of my nephews spent the bulk of the afternoon in the kayaks, just chilling out and creating their own memory. The rest of us brought food from our individual houses for a potluck sort of lunch, then enjoyed a few cocktails, took a nap or did both.

Two nights before this, my daughter and I walked back from the downtown area (where 30 of us huddled on the covered bandstand to escape the rain and broke into an impromptu version of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”) and said, “our family is kinda awesome, huh?”

All we needed was a downpour and some kayaks to show that to everyone.

A Study in Contrasts

brian — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 16:33:29 +0000

A week or so ago, New York anchorman Ernie Anastos dropped an f-bomb on live television. The picture below shows him and co-anchor Dari Alexander reacting after Anastos told their weatherman to “keep (having a loving and committed physical relationship with) that chicken.”

Note the difference in reaction between the person who said the obscenity and his partner. You would think she was the one who said it, but apparently, Ernie has slipped up on the air before so that probably explains his laughter.

Now contrast his face with that of Jenny Slate this past weekend when she dropped the f-bomb on the season premiere – her first show as a cast member – of Saturday Night Live.

I guess the lesson is, when it’s your first night on network TV, saying the f word is a big deal. Once you have a few years under your belt, it’s just a way to make your co-workers uncomfortable.

A New Civil War

brian — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:00:17 +0000

I live close to Gettysburg, where many people come to learn about the Civil War. They tour the battlefield and visit monuments. Some even go so far as to dress up and take part in re-enactments.

Apparently, one guy had a little too much of those wool uniforms and wanted to start a different kind of fight.

State police at Gettysburg said they responded to the Grove Mobile Home Park after receiving complaints that Gary M. Jones, 47, of 4820 Old Harrisburg Road, Lot 6, had left his mobile home naked and was yelling at neighbors on Aug. 1.

Dennis A. Hucks, Gary Kerns and Andrea R. Orndorff, who were at Lot 75, told police Jones came outside naked at about 9:40 p.m., said he knew karate and asked the men if they wanted to fight, according to court documents.

The cops found two empty bottles of vodka in his trailer – shocking that this guy lives in a trailer, huh – and he admitted to what happened. He explained he had lost his son and was “a serious martial artist.”

I worked at the paper where this story ran for six years. Why did he wait until now to do naked karate? I never got good stories like this.

Where’s Coach When You Need Him?

brian — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 16:37:22 +0000

So the soccer team from the Czech Republic had a game the other day. They got all ready to face Latvia in a friendly match.

Problem was, they were playing Lithuania.

D’oh!

Vaclav Tichy, the spokesman for the Czech soccer federation, took responsibility and resigned. His deputy was canned.

No word on whether they have hired Ernie Pantusso to teach their replacements geography. They never would have made this mistake if they played Albania.

Basketball Jones

brian — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 13:14:42 +0000

I have the opportunity to listen to a lot of different things on hour-long commute to and from work. One of my favorite programs is “Elliot in the Morning,” the drive-time show from WWDC in Washington, D.C.

A few months ago, Elliot had author Todd Gallagher on to discuss his book “Andy Roddick Beat Me with a Frying Pan.” The book, which I loved, started a discussion of the difference between male and female athletes with Elliot, true to form, twisting things out of context for humor’s sake.

To make a long story short, he and his staff challenged the Washington Mystics of the WNBA to a game. That game took place today, and the EITM crew are down by about 30 or so at halftime. They only have one player who can qualify as a basketball player – Paddy Lee, who grew up in Littlestown, Pa., near me and helped York College reach the NCAA Division III Final Four a few years ago.

Other than that, the EITM gang are finding it hard to shoot while they eat crow at the same time. It’s pretty funny, well, except for Mike Wise from the Washington Post (doing commentary since the game is being broadcast live) recycling the same jokes over and over again.

UPDATE: The Mystics won 83-23. It was apparently pretty ugly with Elliot saying on the air that he was ready to puke after the final whistle. The women probably took it pretty easy on EITM.

Greatest TV Show Ever

brian — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 20:16:14 +0000

Sometimes, life smiles on you. Today is one of those days. The Fox Reality Channel is showing a marathon of the greatest television show in history.

My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance

Steve Bailey – who now plays Joe on Grey’s Anatomy – helped pull off an incredible prank on this show, which ran in 2003-04. I am taping as many episodes as I can to watch later.

With luck like this, I should play the lottery tonight.

America!

brian — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 00:20:44 +0000

College football started tonight
Ohio kid pulls awesome prank, gets suspended (make sure you check out the YouTube)
Wii adds Beirut to its bastion of goodness

To quote Yakof Smirnoff (or whatever his name was), “What a country!”

The Eternal Question

brian — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 17:53:29 +0000

Sports have provided people with fodder for arguments for the ages. Montana or Unitas? Kareem or Wilt? Ruth or Aaron?

Now popular culture has its all-time greatest argument. Who was more unintentionally funny – the Miss Teen USA contestant from South Carolina or the “Boom Goes the Dynamite” guy from a few years ago?

Watch the videos and leave your vote in the comments.