Luckiest Guy Ever

brian — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 20:31:13 +0000

We exchanged Valentine’s Day presents a day early. I got my wife some jewelry she wanted. She got me perhaps the greatest Valentine’s Day present ever. In fact, it might be the greatest present ever for any holiday.

Shamwow!

brian — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 17:08:18 +0000

I have trouble sometimes distinguishing between what I want and what I need.

I’m the guy who grabs a candy bar or magazine or soda or all three while I stand in line at the store.

A lot of times, I regret buying anything as soon as I hand over my money, but it’s too late. I have tried to limit my impulse purchases and have actually made progress in recent years.

Then I saw the Shamwow advertised on TV and all that work went right our the door.

I need this thing.

In case you haven’t seen the commercials on TV, Shamwow is “like a towel, chamois and sponge all in one except it’s extremely absorbent and can be used over and over.” At least that’s what the website says.

I sat mesmerized by the things the cloth did on the commercial. All sensibility went out of my brain.

It’s a good thing they don’t see Shamwow in stores because I would have at least a dozen now. Having to order via the phone gave me pause, but now I know I can order online, which is pretty dangerous.

I also hesitated because I had put so much work into taking time to know the difference between something I need and something I want. That debate ended when my wife saw the commercial.

“We need that,” she said. And if Maria wants to buy something they advertise on TV, you know they came up with one of the greatest sales pitches known to man.

So I have her on board, but I haven’t quite sold her on my idea of laying Shamwows end to end in the basement. We have gotten rid of a lot of the leaking problems down there, but this would totally solve it.

According to the commercial, we could just pick up each Shamwow, wring it out, and lay it back down. The floor would be perfectly dry even after a heavy rain. I think it’s a genius idea, but we’ll see if I can ever make it happen.

You would think that we would just buy the Shamwow and be done with it. But -as they say on these wonderful commercials – that’s not all.

We also need to buy the Package Shark. This great little tool helps you cut through all that stupid hard plastic that they package so many stinking things in these days. I’ve almost not bought things in the past just because I knew opening it would take all my sanity.

We both looked at each other the first time we saw the Package Shark commercial and agreed we had to have that thing in our house.

I blame the television writers and producers for all of this. If they had agreed to a contract, we wouldn’t be trolling the higher reaches of the digital cable lineup for things to watch. And that’s where these commercials run most frequently.

Even thinking about these kinds of things is unlike us. We never watch the shopping channels unless it’s to make fun of the products and the people selling them. We don’t want infomercials.

But that’s the power of Shamwow and the Package Shark. They are more alluring than a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup in the Aisle at the grocery store.

I bet I could open one of those with a Package Shark. And wipe my mouth with a Shamwow. I can’t wait.

Shamwow – Regular Guy

Luckiest Guy Ever

Shamwow!