My wife and I have had an ongoing fight all winter. Don\u2019t worry, this fight won\u2019t involve the police or restraining orders or anyone throwing anything. Well, that is unless I throw some of my belongings on a fire in the middle of the living room.<\/p>\n
We\u2019re fighting over control of the thermostat.
\nI would have an upper hand in this battle if I hadn\u2019t lost my hands to frostbite. I don\u2019t want to say Maria likes to keep the house cold, but I rode a bobsled down the steps the other day. I had a tough time dodging all the meat hanging in the hallway. (Thanks, I\u2019ll be here all week.)<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t know why I have this problem. I spent four years of college just about a half-hour south of Erie. I don\u2019t mind the cold outside. I don\u2019t walk around in shorts when it\u2019s below freezing like my friend Bryce used to, but as long as the wind isn\u2019t too bad, I can handle winter.<\/p>\n
Inside, it\u2019s a different story. My fraternity used to have a curious arrangement where most everyone slept in bunk beds in a common room called the sleeping room. They led to the fire escape and had no heat.<\/p>\n
When I first moved into the fraternity house, the sleeping rooms didn\u2019t have carpet, so we would stay in bed as long as possible. My friend Scott would often dip his toe onto the wood floor to see if it was safe to get out of bed. He would usually need a few attempts before wrapping himself in a blanket and making a run for the warm part of the house.<\/p>\n
Sometimes, I feel like I have returned to those days since I live with a woman who personifies the old adage \u201ccold hands, warm heart.\u201d We have an older house so we have to deal with the cold every winter. We got new windows a few years ago and that helped get rid of the drafts, but the lack of insulation makes wearing layers necessary.<\/p>\n
I can handle that. As much as I would like to emulate my favorite \u201cCalvin and Hobbes\u201d cartoon and walk around in my shorts after cranking up the thermostat, I hold off.<\/p>\n
Now we just have to come to a resolution on where to set the thermostat. She has her favorite temperature and I have mine. We might as well have a yo-yo to set the temperature.<\/p>\n
Since I get up pretty early during the week, I set it at a comfortable level. Comfortable for me, that is. After I leave for work, Maria drops the setting several degrees because my comfortable is her balmy.<\/p>\n
And it goes on and on.<\/p>\n
Of course we could get one of those fancy programmable thermostats, but that would be too easy. What would we have to talk about if we didn\u2019t complain about the temperature in the living room?<\/p>\n
The temperature is actually only part of the problem. Maria chalks up her position to her thriftiness. She just can\u2019t bear the thought of a high heating bill, even if I\u2019m the one who writes that check. I keep telling her to spend my money, but she says she\u2019s just can\u2019t do it.<\/p>\n
But what about me? I can\u2019t spend the rest of the winter holed up in the computer room wearing three layers and hugging the space heater.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll just have to turn up the heat the next time Maria gets distracted. I just hope that bobsled comes by soon to pick me up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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