I don\u2019t know how I ended up as an eavesdropper. Maybe growing up with seven older siblings who liked to keep secrets from me had something to do with it.<\/p>\n
Some of my earliest memories come from receiving bribes to sneak into our living room to spy on my oldest sister and her boyfriend. I think I got a quarter for each recon mission I undertook.<\/p>\n
She ended up marrying him so maybe I didn\u2019t do as much damage as the rest of the family hoped. Who knows?<\/p>\n
Because I\u2019m a big wimp, I never turned this skill into something really cool. I had no intention of becoming a spy or anything like that.<\/p>\n
I did use the skill as a reporter, but that doesn\u2019t really impress everyone. So now I just entertain myself with my ability to home in on a funny conversation somewhere around me.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s exactly how I entertained myself on a recent errand. I didn\u2019t feel the greatest, and I had to drop Bridget off at one of her activities. Maria asked me if I would get her some ice cream from our favorite place for cold treats.<\/p>\n
So there I am standing in line, a little run down from who knows what and not very excited about waiting for a while just for a dish of ice cream.<\/p>\n
I briefly considered just running to a nearby convenience store or even the grocery store to get her what she wanted, but then one of the guy sin front of me started to talk.<\/p>\n
Bingo. I had free entertainment. First of all, I should have noticed from his clothing that he would provide a gold mine of comedy.<\/p>\n
The hat with the trendy logo. The white athletic shirt which looked like it hadn\u2019t seen exercise because that would just ruin it. The cross trainers that would never see the gym because they might get scuffed.<\/p>\n
He had a few moments in line that almost made me laugh out loud, but they were just the warm up act for when he reached the window where one of the nice young ladies working waited on him.<\/p>\n
From my days as a single guy, I know bad pickup lines. There\u2019s a reason I wake up every day wondering how I ever managed to convince someone to stay with me.<\/p>\n
This guy, however, had it going. I would have felt bad for how badly he flamed out if he hadn\u2019t entertained me so much. I desperately wanted to laugh out loud so maybe he would just stop embarrassing himself.<\/p>\n
But when he awkwardly tried to explain that one of his items wasn\u2019t for his girlfriend, but for a girl who was a friend, I realized that I shouldn\u2019t turn down a free show like this one.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t always like reveling in the real pain of others, but he seemed oblivious so I just soaked it all in. Since he was right in front of me in line, I didn\u2019t even have to strain to hear all the funny parts.<\/p>\n
Not too long after I took Maria her ice cream, I started to feel better. I guess a good laugh will do that for you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I don\u2019t know how I ended up as an eavesdropper. Maybe growing up with seven older siblings who liked to keep secrets from me had something to do with it. Some of my earliest memories come from receiving bribes to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-642","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-columns","wpcat-3-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/642","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=642"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/642\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":644,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/642\/revisions\/644"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=642"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=642"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/regularguycolumn.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=642"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}