Baby Stepping into the Present

Posted inColumns, Family

I have a complicated relationship with technology. Whenever something new comes out, I really, really want it. I inherited that trait from my late father.

But over the years a few factors – namely reality and my wife’s love of thrift – have taught me the difference between wanting something and needing something.

I have appreciated this newfound part of my personality. Sure, I miss the thrill of the impulse buy, but I feel much more secure when I do break down and buy something fun.

This is why I couldn’t understand her angst recently over the new cell phone she had her eyes on.

Solo Survival

Posted inColumns

Over a 48-hour period last week, I discovered something very important. I can get along just fine without my wife.

That does not mean that I want to get rid of her or think taking care of our daughter alone is easy. All I’m saying is that I can do it.

Maria went away for work for a couple of days last week. Actually, she went to Las Vegas without me, but my complaints about that are another topic for another time.

Because of her trip, I took a little time off of work so I could play Mr. Mom. I know two days cannot compare to taking over the job full time. I just know I would rock the socks off the whole single Dad thing.

Not that I want to find out or anything.

Worst Week

Posted inColumns, TV

I hate this week. I should really love it because you can sense the beginning of summer, and Memorial Day gives us a four-day work week. But an awful stench lingers in the air for me.

The television season has come to a close.

I will get over this feeling soon when I start to embrace the freedom to read on the porch past 8 p.m. without running inside to catch one of my favorite shows or, at the very least, popping in to make sure it has started to record.

Pushing the Fashion Envelope

Posted inClothing, Columns, Fashion

When I first saw the shoes, I knew I needed to have them, even for a joke. You never know what you will find when the Clark’s store has its warehouse sale. I hit the jackpot this time.

Not the exact shoe, but you get the point

Since I have small feet, the semiannual event can really help me out. I can find a good selection at a really good price. I went in this spring with a few things in mind, but never expected to see this pair of shoes, much less walk out with a pair all of my own.

You see, I don’t have the greatest fashion sense. I have probably covered this in the past, but I’m pretty basic when it comes to clothes. I don’t do “outfits” and stick with a few basic color combinations so that I don’t embarrass myself.

If I don’t go out on a limb, I won’t look like a fool. I can still pull off a pair of madras shorts (or at least I think I can), but I have enough sense now to make sure I own a plain shirt in a coordinating color. When in doubt, I just let my wife decide.

That’s why I worried she would put the kibosh on these shoes. Never in a million years did I think that Maria would encourage me to buy a pair of white suede bucks. But she did, so I decided to get them.

Me and My Hamloaf

Posted inColumns, Food
When my wife told me we had dinner plans with friends on a Saturday night, I didn’t flinch. In fact, I cheered the development because I like to get out…

Hair-Raising Idea

Posted inColumns

A mixture of dread and confusion washed over me as I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I knew I had come to a crossroads in my life.

As usual, I had gone far too long without a haircut. This happens to me all the time so I don’t know why I felt this way.

When I procrastinate on a haircut, things get out of control. My hair does not get longer. It just gets bigger.

Because of that, I have a lot of problems keeping it under control. I do my best, but sometimes I just have to throw my hands up and accept that I will look a little like Doc Brown I “Back to the Future.”

That’s how I felt as I looked in the mirror that morning. I has mostly tamed the top part, but just could not get the sides to cooperate. At the worst stages, it looks like I have a pair of rams’ horns. Yes, it’s as attractive as it sounds.

Then something in the medicine cabinet caught my eye. Once in a while, I help with my daughter’s hair. I know that in order to prevent frizzing, I use a small dollop from one of the tubes in the cabinet.

Getting Closer

Posted inAmerica, Columns, Olympics, Sports, TV

Sometimes, a milestone comes and goes with very little notice. That’s what happened a couple of weeks ago when we passed the 100 days mark before the beginning of the Olympic Games this summer.

I saw a brief mention of this news on Twitter or Facebook, but just went about my business. A few days later, I started to realize I should have paid more attention.

One hundred days until I can pretty much fill 24 hours with sports, both popular and obscure. Of course, I can kind of pull that off now with all the cable channels and online options available, but that’s not as much fun as the Olympics.

Crisis Averted

Posted inCable, Columns

I had a very scary moment the other day. In fact, for a few hours, I had to deal with an intense feeling of dread.

Lying on the couch in the early morning as I am wont to do, I noticed something funny on the television set. I had made my way downstairs at some point in the night so ESPN could help solve my insomnia.

As I started to stir, I noticed something funny about the screen. The highlights from the previous night’s basketball and hockey games had given way to a few squiggly green lines.

I rubbed my eyes, trying to stave off the inevitable panic. Once I got my bearings, I managed to confirm my worst fears. The cable box had died.

Trouble Making Connections

Posted inColumns, Family

As I sit down to write this column, something doesn’t feel quite right. I have started to have bouts of heartburn which drive me crazy. I know I shouldn’t eat certain things at certain times, but can’t help myself.

So I try and take it easy the next morning with a nagging pain in my gut. Getting old stinks.

The good thing is that I know it will go away. I know I can modify my habits. I know I will feel better soon. I wish I could say the same for my mental faculties.

I haven’t become more forgetful or started to deal with bouts of confusion. I still make it home safely at the end of the day. The problem is that, once I make it home, my daughter may want to play a game. That’s the part which makes me start to feel really bad about myself.

Usually she just wants to play “Sorry!” This is a family favorite which has spawned some epic battles over the years, but no real bad blood. Sometimes she chooses “Life” or “Battleship,” both of which pass the time and really just come down to luck.

But lately she has started to choose an older game which has really made me question my worth as a father, a husband and a contributing member of the community.

Bridget likes to challenge me to games of “Connect Four.”

A Close Shave

Posted inColumns

Groucho Marx once quipped that he wouldn’t join any club which would have him as a member. Sometimes I feel that way. Who would want my brand of insanity and self-doubt?

But recently, I found a group that not only seemed to fit my personality, but, by some miracle, they also wanted me.

I am talking about the Dollar Shave Club. This decision will change my life.