Favorite Goddaughter Determined?

Posted inBeach, Columns, Family

In my family, most of us have an opportunity to serve as godparent. I have had this privilege twice, for my nieces Alanna and Colleen.

This really creates a special bond between the three of us. They were born when I was in my early 20s so I have literally watched them grow up.

We also have a fun little game where they vie for the title of “favorite goddaughter.” I don’t remember when this started, but it continues even though one has graduated college and the other will do so in the next year or two.

The game never turns ugly because we all know it’s not serious in any way, shape or form. It merely provides each one of us the opportunity to get a little dig in at the others. Like if one of them is late for something, the criteria is surely punctuality.

I have tried to decree that the only true criteria for favorite goddaughter is the one who doesn’t try to prove that she is my favorite goddaughter. This has failed miserably.

But our most recent family vacation may have provided the answer once and for all.

Adventures in Plumbing

Posted inColumns, Family

Because we don’t have a dishwasher, that regular task falls to me.  I don’t really mind because it makes me feel like I’m actually contributing to the daily maintenance of the house.

I settled myself in front of the sink over the Fourth of July weekend to attack the mountain of dishes, cups and other assorted items which we used while entertaining Maria’s family. Nothing really seemed out of the ordinary.

Then I felt something funny. I couldn’t quite figure it out at first, but realized I had a wet sock.

Senior Games, Here I Come

Posted inColumns

We went out for breakfast on a Sunday morning with our daughter on a camping trip with her Girl Scout Troop.

I thought I would just have a Belgian waffle and some coffee. Instead, I discovered where I needed to focus my attention for the next seven years.

My wife and I sat across the table from each other reading the newspaper when it happened. I had the sports section, of course.

My destiny hid in the middle of the page alongside results of professional sports I could never dream of playing.

From now until I turn the summer of 2018, I need to put all my energy into preparing for the York County Senior Games.

A Close Shave

Posted inColumns

We had one of those special times a week or so ago. Bridget went to my mother-in-law’s for a few days of spoiling so Maria and I had lots of free time to ourselves.

We totally took advantage of this. We went out to eat a couple of times. We went to see a movie. Basically, we had a very brief practice run for when we have an empty nest.

So naturally, I tried to wring every ounce of fun out of the time. The way the arrangements worked out, I had to get to York by 1 p.m. on a Saturday in order to pick up Bridget. Maria worked that day so I had a few hours to myself.

As I looked in the mirror Saturday morning, I knew I had a couple of options. One, of course, was to stay at home and do nothing productive until I had to hop in the car. The other option stared right back at me from the mirror. I needed a haircut.

Well, I thought I did. I had not had one in a while, and things had started to get a little out of control. Saturday morning seemed like a good time to get a haircut, but sitting on the couch catching up on episodes of “Hawaii Five-O” I recorded almost two months ago also sounded appealing.

So I followed the most important lesson I have learned in a decade and a half of marriage: I asked her how my hair looked. She said I could wait a week, so the unruly mop on my head got a reprieve.

Getting Old Stinks

Posted inBasketball, Columns

I had a decision to make, a decision which would have wide-ranging implications.

For a number of reasons, I had committed to paying close attention to the NBA Finals. I have slowly drifted toward pro hoops over the past few years. The quality of play combined with some really dramatic storylines in the playoffs had me hooked.

I made it through Game One with no problem. Well, that’s not completely true. The game didn’t start until 9 p.m. and went right down to the wire so I didn’t get to bed until around midnight. I generally get up for work sometime between 5 and 6 a.m.

Did I mention I had a couple of beers while watching that game?

Kindle Me!

Posted inBooks, Columns

During a Memorial Day weekend picnic, I had to break the bad news to a friend of ours. She works at a small bookstore.

I had to come clean about the new Kindle I had bought. We had brought it to the event because I had bought a few books for Bridget since she was fascinated by it. I wanted to tell our friend myself instead of having her see it by mistake.

I could tell by the look on her face that she did not like this development. After she heard the news, she set her jaw and looked squarely in my eyes.

“Brian, I want to punch you right now.”

Why the Go-Go’s Matter to Me

Posted inAmerica, Columns, Music

A number of years ago, I went to the mall to purchase a CD. I only had the songs I wanted on cassette and wanted to upgrade my collection.

After I handed the disc to the clerk at the register, he sighed. Now this was no sullen teenager bothered by some older guy’s nostalgic purchase. This guy was at least my age, maybe older. This will sound mean, but he looked like the guy they would cast in a movie about a 35-year-old guy who worked at a music store in the mall.

While he finished the transaction, he looked down at the CD and said, “Well, I guess some things never come into style.” Yes, this was someone I was willingly giving money to telling me that my taste stunk.

I don’t think I said anything. Maybe I was stunned. Maybe I was in a hurry. But most likely, I really didn’t care what Record Store Guy thought about my purchase of the Go-Go’s Greatest  Hits. I knew the songs were awesome without his input.

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Posted inColumns, TV

Something remarkable happened over the past nine months. I went an entire television season without wanting to break up with any of my shows.

This might not sound that remarkable, but I have managed to shed at least one show each of the past few years. Over time, I have found myself incapable of sitting through most one-hour dramas. That meant shows like “Desperate Housewives” and “Grey’s Anatomy” slid off my radar the past few seasons.

I tried to focus most of my entertainment energy on sitcoms. Thankfully, the networks have responded by cranking out more and more funny shows. That, of course, led to another dilemma. Will I have time for all these shows in my life?

Mission Accomplished … Finally

Posted inColumns, Computers

I had a dream. I dreamt I could order piece of a computer on the Internet and easily build my own machine. My family would live in a land of speed and magic.

That’s what I thought three months ago when I hatched this scheme. To make things worse, I told friends about it and even wrote a column. A couple of people I know asked me questions in the ensuing weeks. I had some trouble carving time into my schedule at first to set up the new system so I had a good excuse.

I finally had a chance one night to hook everything up. As I wrote before, I have done a number of upgrades on computers in the past, but this would be my first attempt at building one from scratch.

Naturally, the thing didn’t work on my first try. I got a whir from the fan, but the rest of the system wouldn’t start. I took a few deep breaths and headed to the Internet to see if I could figure out how to diagnose the problem.

Knowing My Value

Posted inColumns

As it happens sometimes in my family, we have a very busy summer ahead without even really trying. A couple of graduations, a wedding, the annual beach trip. It all adds up pretty quickly.

Which means we have to find time when we can for other activities. We combined the two things a couple of weeks ago as Maria took advantage of a trip to my nephew’s graduation party to take me shopping so she could utilize my greatest skill as a husband: calculating the price of sale items.

I don’t think I exaggerate when I call this talent vital to my success as a spouse. I can’t really fix things too often. I have been banned from helping with painting projects. My cooking talents are largely relegated to grilling.

I don’t blame my wife. She just does a better job at all these things. I wish we had enough money to let other people take care of all these things for us, but life doesn’t work that way so she ends up carrying more of the burden.

These means I have to look to contribute in other ways. I drive both ways to almost all family events so she can relax for the ride. I find a way to take Bridget somewhere fun when Maria needs to just sit back and relax in peace and quiet. And I easily calculate the 30 percent discount for a blouse she might want when she finds a good sale.