My Kingdom for Reruns

Posted inAmerica, Columns, TV

I feel lost. Completely lost. Not lost with a capital letter at the beginning because I don’t watch that show. But that’s part of the reason I feel so lost.

TV season has ended. How will we carry on for the next few months?

For some reason, the whole thing snuck up on me. When I wrote a column a few weeks back about breaking up with Grey’s Anatomy, I didn’t realize that the end of the season was so close.

I might have hung on for a few more episodes if I knew the summer season would come so soon.

Remember when we loved this time of year because we could watch re-runs? We used that word around my daughter once, and she looked at us like we broke out in Chinese.

Simply A Burger

Posted inAmerica, Columns, Food
I have a problem. Well, I have a number of problems, but one of them is with my health. Things like high cholesterol, high blood pressure and heart disease run…

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Posted inColumns, TV

I generally try to avoid conflict. That comes naturally after growing up with four older brothers. It’s my survival mechanism.

I have extended this philosophy a little too far sometimes. I even don’t like to get in arguments with my TV shows.

When they have a plot that doesn’t interest me, I sit idly by far too often. When a new character comes in and ruins the chemistry, I bite my tongue.

Because of this loyalty to the shows I choose to follow, I tend to hang onto them a little longer than I should. I sometimes get angry at myself for sitting through a program out of sheer habit.

That has started to change, however. I have my own little version of attention deficit disorder to thank.

I broke up with two shows this TV season. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that both are hour-long programs. I just don’t know how much I care about a program that needs 60 minutes each week.

Two Dimensions Are Fine

Posted inAmerica, Columns, TV

I take few things more seriously than my entertainment. That’s why I’m very close to having a big problem with the industry that makes me so happy.

Every generation has to find new ways to push the envelope. I completely get that. If no one took chances, the entire humor of “Superbad” would have passed right by us because that kind of shtick just doesn’t play in a silent movie.

I’m not saying the fine folks who bring us movies and television shows need to rest on their laurels. I’m just saying, enough with the 3-D stuff already.

Taking the Plunge

Posted inColumns
I didn’t make my decision until the last minute. In fact, I didn’t even mention it to anyone until I announced I was going. Last month, I auditioned for a…

The Case of the Indestructible Travel Mug

Posted inColumns, Making an Idiot Out of Myself

Things started out pretty well last Wednesday. Maria and I both got moving a little earlier than usual. Before I knew it, I was all ready to leave for work 10 minutes before usual.

I putzed around the house a little any way. My iPod wasn’t going to load itself. Regardless, I strolled out the door at about the usual time with no real reason to rush. This was the first nice day after all the rain, so I got all my stuff inside the car and headed for work.

Or so I thought. After a block or two – and this is after making on left-hand turn – I heard some kind of weird noise. I checked the cover for the sunroof first. Sometimes I don’t pull that completely shut, and it rattles. But that wasn’t the problem.

I looked over at the passenger seat. I had driven with co-workers to meetings the two previous days, so I wondered if the seat belt got tangled and was bouncing against something. Or maybe they left something in the seat that was rattling. No dice there either. Then I heard a small thud, a roll and one more strange sound.

Before I had a chance to even look in my driver’s side mirror, I knew what had happened. I looked back and prayed that no one would run over my travel mug as it bounced along the road side, spreading hot coffee along Baer Avenue.

The Circle of Life

Posted inAmerica, Columns, Grills Need to Have Coolers Attached

When we suffer a tragic loss, the best way to move on is to find meaningful something to fill the void. I can’t wait for that part if the grieving process.

With the nice weather a week or so ago, I decided we needed to cook out on the grill. After all, we could run around outside all day. What good is that without the smell of meat wafting through the air?

So I picked up some chicken from the store and got the fire started. These days, that takes a little work because the igniter in my gas grill – which is at least a decade old – doesn’t really work anymore.

I have to turn on the gas and slide one of those long, thin lighter things into the hole by where the propane is released. Naturally, I lean back as far as I can to make sure I don’t lose any valuable hair.

The fire started, and I threw the chicken on the grill. After a little while, I noticed something strange. The fire didn’t seem to spread naturally and was coming up above the grill rack and heating things up a little more than I wanted.

After a minute or two of investigation, I realized the little metal thingy (I think that is the technical term) which spread the flame evenly had come dislodged so that the flame came up one side completely unfettered.

We looked closer and noticed that not only had it shifted, but rust had seemed to take over part of it. For a moment, I got sad because I didn’t want anything bad to happen to the grill. Then I realized the wonderful silver lining.

I could go grill shopping.