Food Shouldn’t Cause Problems

Posted inColumns, Food

I don’t like to have problems with my meals. I try really hard to avoid confrontation with food, but sometimes things spin out of control.

We faced two such instances this week. One of them might force me to write a strongly-worded letter to one of my favorite food companies.

Maria decided to make macaroni and cheese with dinner the other night. A few years ago, I managed to convince her that nothing beat Kraft mac and cheese so she headed right for the familiar blue box when she was ready to cook.

Within a few minutes, I could tell something had gone horribly wrong. She went to get a box from the mac and cheese six-pack she had bought a few months earlier and found a problem.

The six-pack was a five-pack. The sneaky people at Kraft had slipped a box with a Capri Sun sample into the mix. They totally fooled us.

Stayin’ Alive … For Real

Posted inAmerica, Columns, Music

Luckily, I managed to miss most of the disco era. Sure, I was alive, but I hadn’t reached my teens so I watched the whole mess from afar.

The closest I got to disco fever was a copy of the strange “Disco Duck” album released by DJ Rick Dees, who was making fun of the whole fad. I didn’t realize I was supporting satire at that point. I just thought the duck voice was funny.

Like a lot of people my age, I have supported disco through the years, but with a wink and a nod. I continually find myself amazed as the Village People song “YMCA” gets families to dance and sing since that’s the last thing the lyrics suggest.

But songs like that ultimately make us have fun, and that’s the point. Having fun and saving lives.

Groceries Gone Wild

Posted inColumns, Family

With some extra free time on my hands lately, I have had a chance to help out more around the house.

In some ways, this can be interpreted as a positive. More help means more gets done, right?

But remember this is a husband’s kind of helping. And I am the husband trying to pitch in to make life around the house a little easier.

All that means is that the routine Maria has developed over the years goes to hell in a handbasket, and I get things done the way I want them done.

Lemonade, That Cool Refreshing Drink

Posted inBaltimore, Columns

I spent the day at a wine festival last weekend. I had to attend for work, so I really didn’t feel like sampling any of the featured product.

That didn’t bother me much because I love a good festival. I had time to walk around and look at crafts I would never buy. I ate a pretty good pit turkey sandwich. And, since it was sunny out, I had a refreshing cup of lemonade.

Well, I tried to have a refreshing cup of lemonade, but I couldn’t find one. I tried two stands and walked away disappointed both times.

You see, I can’t claim to be an expert in many fields, but I do know how to make a good cup of fresh-squeezed lemonade. I have very high standards. As Eddie Murphy once said in an impression of Elvis Presley, lemonade is a cool, refreshing drink, but that takes a special touch.

Music to My Ears?

Posted inColumns, Family, Music

A flier came home from school the other week. Since Bridget has entered the third grade, she could now sign up to learn an instrument.

At first the thought of rudimentary violin being played in the house might not sound like the greatest idea in the world, but I knew I could not let this chance pass by.

You see, I have absolutely no musical talent whatsoever. And I blame the nuns.

Happy TV Season

Posted inColumns, TV

The other day, Bridget finished reading the first book in the Little House series. I think we gave it to her for her birthday.

We were in the car when she finished so I started asking her questions. I wanted to know if she liked the book. I wondered if she wanted to read more in the series. I asked her if she wanted to watch the TV show.

That last one really caught her interest. I guess we had only mentioned in passing that they made a TV show based on the books.

Since she has my genes, the fact that they made a TV show out of a book she liked sounded like a perfect world. I told her we would try to find it in reruns somewhere.

This is where the conversation got a little difficult. “What’s a rerun?” she asked.

It’s About Time

Posted inColumns, Music

In recent years, I have fallen behind when it comes to technology. I usually like to buy all kinds of gadgets, but I have had to vicariously enjoy some of the neatest toys in recent years.

I have no real reason for this except for some actual maturity when it comes to spending money. I more often ask myself if I need something or just want it. When that happens, I leave the store disappointed.

I made sure that didn’t happen a few weeks ago when – seven years later than just about everyone else – I bought an iPod. Finally.

No Guitar Hero Here

Posted inColumns, Video Games

I got excited when I saw the notice in the newspaper recently. The library had planned a Guitar Hero tournament.

I could see it now. I finally would get my due as a Guitar Hero champion. The entire town would bow down before my might.

Then I really read the story. The competition was only for teenagers. I felt incredibly let down. My dream would have to wait for another day.

Getting into Shape

Posted inColumns, Exercise

A little more than a year ago, I made a pretty big decision. I noticed that I would get up pretty early most mornings, but I didn’t really accomplish much.

In the time I had before I had to shower ad get ready for work, I would usually watch TV or goof off on the Internet.

Most times, I had good intentions of accomplishing something like doing some reading or writing, but I hardly ever followed through and pretty much just wasted my time until I had to get moving.

Even though I am a fan of the sloth, I thought things needed to change. So I decided to start exercising because, well, I could stand to get in better shape.

I started off by going for short walks. I knew I wouldn’t get back down to my fighting weight this way, but I thought I had to do something.

Time for a Party

Posted inBeer, Columns, Cornhole, Family, Food, Wii

In the aftermath of my 40th birthday recently, I noticed something about the gifts I received. Almost every one had something to do with food or beer.

Part of me wondered what this said about me. Do I drink too much or do I just enjoy quality beer? Am I a glutton or do I just enjoy eating out? Am I so hard to buy for that people just fall back on the simplest gift?

After talking to my wife, I realized that I had no room to complain. I liked getting beer and oft cards for restaurants. Outside of someone dropping big bucks to give me a Wii, I really didn’t want anything special for my birthday. I really appreciated that people knew my tastes so well.