Over the past few weeks, some of my siblings have done a great deal of genealogy research. We have found out many details about relatives on both my mother and father’s sides of the family.
While I really enjoy learning where I come from, none of the research has turned up the most important thing right now.
I still have no idea how to easily qualify for citizenship in some obscure country so I can represent them in the Olympics.
Last weekend, as we drove home after a little shopping, the skies opened up. Rain poured down in buckets. You could almost call the precipitation Biblical.
That didn’t surprise me at all. I saw the storm as God’s way of commenting on the tremendous shift in the universe which had just taken place.
Maria bought a cell phone.
I don’t think that the rain signaled any sort of displeasure with the purchase. I just think the whole thing took everyone by surprise. I honestly thought I would help my daughter buy a cell phone long before I helped my wife make the same decision.
When I travel alone, I generally need pretty simple accommodations. A regular hotel room meets all of my needs.
That’s why I booked the most affordable place I could when I went to Las Vegas earlier this week. Maria and Bridget had other plans, so I took the chance for a solo trip to gamble, eat too much, and sleep too little.
I arrived late Sunday night at the Imperial Palace, ready to check into a room which cost me just over $100 total for three nights. The place is a little old and not very fancy, but it has great rates and a perfect location.
Besides, I didn’t plan on spending a lot of time in my room so I didn’t need the fancy furniture or hot tubs I could find at other hotels. Especially since those things come with a price tag I didn’t want to pay.
Flight delays across the country made the line to check-in pretty long, even at 10:30 p.m. By the time I got to the front, I just wanted to get my key, drop off my things and play some poker.
Little did I know that the woman helping me had a different idea.
After 22 years, my family’s annual trek to the beach has gained a certain kind of routine.
My oldest sisters head down to the beach early to set out a cadre of chairs so we can reserve precious space on the sand.
One night, we meet at the boardwalk in Rehoboth Beach to all get on the bumper cars together and take out a year’s worth of frustrations.
And we all repair to our favorite games in the arcade most nights – a few on skeeball, a few on a game we have dubbed “Lucky Duck” and the rest scattered amongst claw machines and other games to entertain the younger set.
The two years before this trip, something else has helped maintain normalcy during beach week. I won the annual cornhole tournament those years along with John, my niece’s husband.
We looked to put together an unprecedented three-peat this year. I felt so confident, I even left my championship belt back in Hanover.
Either that or I’m absent-minded and didn’t even think about packing it. Take your choice.
Every generation has unique challenges. Some fight important wars. Some lead needed social change. Others discover ways to save the planet.
I have a different idea for how I can help my generation stand out in history. We have a very important task at hand, and this summer can begin our quest.
We need to make sure men realize that you just can’t wear socks with sandals.
Sometimes, I just don’t know what gets inside of people’s heads. I see things that go on around me and just can’t help but saying, “What were they thinking?”
I have had a few instances of that lately. The first came when I went to see R.E.M. in concert. I’m not a huge collector of ticket stubs, but I do like to hang on to them so I can reminisce once in a while.
So after I got inside the venue, I started looking at my stub. A lot of times, the back gets you a chance to get something free or discounted, and I wanted to see what I could get for free this time. The result shocked me.
My ticket stub gave me the opportunity to get $200 on a new Volvo. Wow, just what I needed.
Just about every time a new piece of technology hits the streets, I get a little excited. I know I can’t afford every little gadget, but I like knowing that they exist.
Well, not always. Sometimes I hear about some new little electronic device, and I wonder who thought real people might need the item.
Lately, I have started to think that about these GPS devices that are popping up in all kinds of cars.
I don’t find this kind of technology useless. I’m sure sales people who have to visit a lot of new locations and food delivery services find GPS units pretty handy.
But putting these things in the hands of your average person is contributing to making us dumber as a people.
I have a funny thing about rules. I really like to live in the moment and enjoy plenty of freedom, but I think we need certain guidelines to keep people from going crazy.
Lately, I have noticed one place which needs a little less freedom and a few more rules.
The radio.
I listen to a lot of music, partially because of my commute, but also because I just love music. I have little to no musical ability myself so I really respect the things musicians can do.
I don’t consider myself a music geek or music snob or anything. I really don’t care what kind of music people like. I just want the people putting tunes on the air to realize some of the things they do wrong.
At my previous job, we had the worst staff meetings in the world. They took up an entire morning or afternoon – I have blocked out what time of day they took place – and really accomplished almost nothing.
I figured out a way to survive them after a while. I would buy a really big cookie and eat it slowly throughout the meeting.
My boss thought I was joking when I said I couldn’t survive the time without a cookie, but I was totally serious.
The cookie became necessary because I didn’t have a good friend in the department to help me with my favorite pastime during meetings – making smart aleck comments.
I like to turn meetings into a sort of Mystery Science Theater setting. I think of myself as the DVD commentary that comes with the meeting. I know I should be all grown up and professional now, but I can’t help it some times.
Because I live about an hour from my job, the people I work with don’t get to see all sides of me.
I try to get involved socially as much as I can, but not as much as I might like. I just can’t see staying late to have fun with my friends instead of coming home and seeing my family.
That means, many of them only see the guy who dresses in a shirt and tie each day and makes bad jokes whenever he has a chance.
Sure, that sums me up pretty well, but some co-workers got a look at a different side of me the other day.