Getting Old Sucks

Posted inCollege, Columns, Things I Hate

I like to think that I will never outgrow my immaturity. I only masquerade as an adult because it pays the bills. I try to spend as little time as possible as a grownup.

Working at a college has helped with that. Sure, the job requires pretending I have evolved beyond my teenage years, but I get plenty of opportunities to hang out with students and remember why my college years played such an important role in my life.

Unfortunately, one of those opportunities recently reminded me that I can only cheat the calendar for so long.

The 2008 Brians

Posted inColumns, Movies, The Brians

The glamorous people will gather in Hollywood tonight to pat themselves on the back.

We’ll have a more low-key ceremony here for the sixth edition of The Brians.

Each year’s edition of The Brians brings something special. This year, we have taken the “Best Animated Movie” category from last year and re-named it “The Bridget” because I only get to see certain movies because someone would alert the authorities if I just let my daughter go by herself.

The three movies in that category – “Alvin and the Chipmunks,” “Enchanted,” and “Bee Movie” – will join the more grownup fare of “Superbad,” “The Bourne Ultimatum,” “Dreamgirls,” “Knocked Up,” “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry,” and “The Simpsons Movie.”

Remember, only movies I saw in the theater are eligible in The Brians, which have been Joan Rivers-free since 2003. The envelopes, please:

The Time is Coming

Posted inColumns, lottery

I can feel it in the air. This time, it will really happen.

I’m going to win the lottery.

Yeah, yeah, I know I say that all the time, but I have a special feeling this time, The Mega Millions jackpot in Maryland climbed northwards of $150 million this week. Powerball here in PA is inching closer to $100 million.

By the time you read this on Sunday, I could be lounging in a suite in Las Vegas.

‘Best of Both Worlds’ Needs Coffee

Posted inColumns, Movies, Music

I can think of a lot of strange ways to spend a Sunday morning, but I think I topped them all last week.

I didn’t intend to get up early and go see the Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus concert movie with Bridget, but I also didn’t expect the movie to sell out multiple shows before I tried to buy tickets.

Yea, I know that’s pretty stupid. I have no idea why I thought I could wait until Saturday morning to buy tickets for a showing that afternoon.

I don’t normally like getting up very early on Sunday mornings and watching a concert movie in a room filled with kids, but the sad look on Bridget’s face made me realize I had no choice.

Icing on the Cake

Posted inColumns, Family, Food

When Maria left for work last Saturday, I thought I had an easy day ahead of myself.

Bridget had a friend over. They had plenty of activities planned. No one really needed me.

One of the activities was a kit to decorate gingerbread cookies. The cookies came pre-made with the kit so even I couldn’t screw this up.

Or so I thought.

Shamwow!

Posted inColumns, I Need That, Shamwow

I have trouble sometimes distinguishing between what I want and what I need.

I’m the guy who grabs a candy bar or magazine or soda or all three while I stand in line at the store.

A lot of times, I regret buying anything as soon as I hand over my money, but it’s too late. I have tried to limit my impulse purchases and have actually made progress in recent years.

Then I saw the Shamwow advertised on TV and all that work went right our the door.

I need this thing.

Fatherhood Sneaks Up On You

Posted inColumns, Parenthood

As I drove around the other day. I had trouble finding a song I wanted to listen to on the radio. Given that I have satellite radio, that really bothered me. I should always find something I like on there.

Eventually, I did come across a good song and bopped to the beat as I cruised down the road. As the end of the song neared, I came to a horrible realization.

I had just willingly enjoyed a song from “High School Musical 2.”

Are We There Yet?

Posted inColumns, Family, Travel

With the holiday approaching, I know we will spend a lot of time together in the car. I start to have flashbacks when that happens.

As a kid, we did a ton of traveling. We drove pretty much all up and down the East Coast. I think I had visited every coastal state by the time I was 6.

I’ve done my time in the car.

An Efficient Day

Posted inColumns, Computers

I stopped by to see Maria at work last weekend. She just started working at a shop called Treasures downtown. I had nothing better to do since it was near the end of the Thanksgiving holiday.
With several days off, Maria at work, and Bridget spending several days at my mother-in-law’s, I had lots of time to kill. Luckily, I have almost qualified for an advanced degree in wasting excess free time. I looked at the few days as a challenge, not a burden.
I did the things that I do best. I played video games. I practiced my guitar. I watched a few of my favorite “Leave it to Beaver” episodes.

Shea for President

Posted inColumns, Shea for President

A little more than three years ago, I laid out a bold plan for a Shea presidency. I had just turned 35, and the election was just about a month away when I threw my hat in the ring.

As you can tell, the people ignored my progressive agenda. They didn’t care about free ice cream cones for children, the elimination of all televisions under 30 inches, and a national edict for pizza at dinner every Friday.

That has not fazed me. This time, I will have just under a year to spread the word about why I should be the next resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.