Manly Regular Guy

Posted inColumns

I generally don’t get to show off my manliness. Last week, I made up for lost time.

I like to live the easy life as much as I can. I always say that my greatest home improvement skill is writing a check. The only kind of yard work I even remotely enjoy is vacuuming leaves because I get to carry around a big machine.

And don’t even get me started on car repairs. Thank God auto manufacturers have started to make things under the hood easier to figure out or I would eventually put oil in the windshield wiper fluid container.

So imagine my surprise when I walked out to my car last Monday afternoon and saw my right rear tire almost totally flat.

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

Posted inColumns, Family, Food

I came home the other day to an empty house. Maria had not yet returned from dropping Bridget off at her Brownie meeting so I had some time to relax before I ate.

Two nights a week, I have to fend for myself. Bridget has to leave for activities before I get home so we don’t get to eat as a family. Sometimes, Maria has made something for all of us, and I heat it up. But most times, I make myself dinner, which is fine.

This was one of those nights. I like to take some time to think about it before I have to hop in the car and go pick Bridget up. Like a lot of times when I think about my meal, I get distracted easily and don’t eat right away.

Maria came home, and we sat on the couch watching episodes of “Scrubs” for about the 23rd time. At some point, I had a brilliant idea.

I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. Well, I thought it was a great idea.

Bread from Heaven

Posted inColumns, Family, Food

Some people say that marriage is more like a marathon than a sprint. If that’s the case, I won the bread portion of our marathon a few weeks ago.

For a long time, I have wanted us to get a breadmaker. Since I would have very little to do with the actual machine, the decision didn’t rest with me. I knew I would enjoy the end product, but that didn’t carry enough weight.

Maria insisted we didn’t need some contraption to make bread. She could make bread just fine on her own. And she could.

Tradition Has Its Place

Posted inAmerica, Columns, Hanover

When Maria and I first talked about getting married, we looked at where we might want to live. We had lived in Hanover for a few years each, but didn’t know if this is where we wanted to settle permanently.

The longer we thought about it, however, the more we realized we didn’t want to leave.

We didn’t have that far to travel to Lancaster or Baltimore to visit our families. We had a nice quiet neighborhood to raise a child. We grew quite fond of local traditions and customs.

The local paper has had a lot of back-and-forth about our local Halloween traditions. I don’t like to get high and mighty, but the newcomers should back off.

Music to My Ears

Posted inColumns, Family, Music

A parent has many proud moments as they watch their child grow up. Their first words, their first steps, their first day at school.

I recently watched as another milestone in Bridget’s life passed by – the moment I realized she might have good taste in music.

These Jeans Were Obviously Made for Walkin’

Posted inColumns, Family

Before Maria and I went on our trip to New York a few weeks ago, I had to pack my bag.

I packed plenty of shorts and casual shirts. You know, the things you need to wear to a tennis tournament.

Then I went to pack one final thing I thought I might need for the weekend.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find it. I looked all over our room. Both of us knew where it had been a few days before. I remembered putting it in a very specific place, but it wasn’t there.

I could only come up with one explanation. My wife stole my good pair of jeans.

That Stinking Tooth Fairy

Posted inColumns, Family

Sometimes, we have good intentions when we make promises. Then, when we have to pay up, we wonder what went through our minds in the first place.

All of this started a couple of months ago when Bridget lost a tooth. She got all excited as usual, but she had something different to tell us this time.

The Tooth Fairy (that’s me and Maria by the way) was going to bring her a prize, she said.

Mountains to Climb

Posted inColumns, Making an Idiot Out of Myself

When I started pledging a fraternity during my freshman year of college, the older guys in the house did all kinds of things to scare the other pledges and me.

They told us about all kinds of horrible things that would happen to us. They really scared a few guys.

I pretty much took it all in stride and gained the respect of the older guys – who never followed through on any of their threats because it was all a game – with one great decision.

I called their bluff.

I learned all of this growing up with four older brothers. Sometimes, it’s easier to be made fun of for not doing something well than it is to be made fun of for not even trying at all.

That lesson echoed in my head the other day at a special picnic we had at work. There were lots of activities, including a climbing wall.

When I first saw the wall, I decided I wouldn’t even go near it. We had the same kind of wall at a similar event a few years ago, and I tried it then.

Bourne or Bond?

Posted inColumns, Movies

A little more than a week ago in a dark movie theatre, I realized what I want to be when I grow up.

I want to be Jason Bourne.

Well, not completely. I could do without having to kill people. That would be bad. And I don’t want people chasing me all over the place all the time. I’m paranoid enough as it is.

But has there ever been a cooler movie character than Jason Bourne? At this point, I don’t think so.

Future Big Brother Champion

Posted inBig Brother, Columns, TV

My friends have me so mad at them.

A few weeks ago, the two of them started talking more and more about the TV show, “Big Brother.”

I couldn’t stand it because I knew they might suck me into watching it. I resisted as hard as I could, but then I found myself home alone one night and I landed on CBS as I flipped channels.

I was hooked.