If My Head Weren’t Attached …

Posted inColumns, Making an Idiot Out of Myself

For a while, I convinced myself that I had merely been forgetful. I realized I did not have my wallet when I headed for home one night, but I just assumed I had left it behind and would find it when I returned.

That happened a little while ago when I left Hanover Little Theatre after a show (I hope you were able to make our recent run – it was a blast). Within 24 hours, acknowledgement of my absent-mindedness had turned into near panic.

Before that, I spent Friday at work expecting to find my wallet somewhere backstage. I had done a quick check of my credit cards and saw no activity. The thing had to be sitting with my props or, worst case, on the floor somewhere nearby.

Until Next Time, Beardy

Posted inColumns
Like the rest of us, I spent part of last week anxiously sitting and waiting to see what kind of punch Sandy would pack. Most people thankfully avoided major trouble…

Costume Regret

Posted inColumns, Halloween

Because of another commitment, I didn’t get a chance to help out at our house during Trick or Treat night last week. This marked the second straight year I couldn’t check out what cool costumes the kids (and their parents) put together.

I realize my daughter will eventually outgrow trick-or-treating, but I feel better knowing I can live vicariously through the costumes of other people’s children.

I find this very important because it serves as a sort of therapy from a disastrous costume experience I had as a child.

Crabcake Confusion

Posted inAmerica, Columns, Family, Food

To be honest, I got a little cocky. I can only blame myself.

My wife went away for a few days recently, leaving me in charge of everything – the house, the meals and our daughter. I had complete control.

In the days and weeks leading up to this time, Bridget and I giggled over having the freedom to not put a clip on a bag of cereal of chips, just daring the food to go a little bit stale. In other words, I showed my true maturity level.

When we had the house to ourselves, we didn’t go nearly as crazy as we may have intimated, but we certainly had a little bit of extra fun. We didn’t have many bags we could leave unclipped, but we turned the TV up a little louder than usual and had no regard for normal rules of when the day’s newspaper moved from the dining room table to the recycling pile.

Like you, I am amazed the police never showed up to calm us down.

Fictional Worries

Posted inAmerica, Columns

The kids just wanted to help their Dad. They thought if they surprised him by washing the car, he would appreciate their pluck and initiative.

They didn’t mean to leave the windows open. They never intended to fill the inside of the car with water and suds. The plan didn’t involve making things worse.

Their Dad didn’t mind. He shrugged it off and laughed because he just wanted to spend some time with his boys. My wife, however, was appalled at the lack of concern everyone involved had for the inside of the car.

The car wash scene appeared in a commercial, but that didn’t allay Maria’s concerns. Even though I assured her that the boys didn’t set up a camera and damage the car while secretly filming the scene which would later be turned into a television advertisement, she still had trouble accepting the scene.

This has turned into a recurring theme in our house. My wife’s good heartedness has extended to worrying about the fates of fictional characters.

Stop the Subtitles

Posted inAmerica, Columns, TV

Against my better judgment, I turned on TLC the other night. You know, the channel which takes the worst part of American society and glorifies it through reality television.

But the old “even a blind squirrel finds an acorn” adage certainly rang true as I sat down to watch the exploits of five Amish folks headed to the big city in “Breaking Amish.” Then we sat rapt as episode after episode of the show chronicling the lives of the conjoined Hensel twins.

I could not help myself even if I can’t stand what the channel has come to stand for. The little binge doesn’t change my belief that TLC is responsible for most of the bad things in this world. That isn’t 100 percent tied to the Honey Boo Boo show, but the true evil of TLC is represented in that program.

They really need to stop using subtitles when people are speaking English.

Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Posted inColumns, TV

I love this time of year. You can feel the difference in the air. A special electricity surrounds us.

You could blame it on the change from summer to autumn, but something else gives me this feeling – I can see the new television season on the horizon.

I have not had as hard of a time coping with the loss of my favorite shows this past summer. Maybe the Olympics filled enough of the void. Maybe the Orioles’ run to first place has distracted me. Maybe I just put myself in a good place last spring when all of my favorite shows survived cancellation.

Whatever the reason, I head into this new season with my usual sense of excitement, but without the signs of withdrawal which I sometimes go through as the summer comes to a close.

Wakeup Call

Posted inColumns, Travel

Traveling often puts us at the mercy of other folks. You have to hope that the person in the seat next to you on the plane isn’t a jerk. You have to trust the taxi driver doesn’t try to rip you off. And you have to believe that the person who had the hotel room before you didn’t set the alarm to try and wake you up unexpectedly in the middle of the night.

Based on my recent trip to Arizona for work, two out of three ain’t bad.