The Forbidden Question

Posted inColumns, Family, Food

The question did not seem all that controversial. I did not mean to stir up any deep emotions in my wife. I just had a simple inquiry.

But apparently, you can cause a huge uproar in our house just by asking “What’s for dinner?”

I need to provide a little background first. The incident happened on a Saturday night after my wife came home from work. She got a few things out to make dinner, and my curiosity got the best of me.

Earlier in the week, I noticed she had bought a six-pack of sub rolls. They caught my eye because she usually doesn’t buy something like that. I was intrigued and asked what she would use them for.

I got a one word answer: “Dinner.” She likes to do that to me.

Surprise Purchase

Posted inColumns, Family

My wife came home from the store the other day. She had to pick up some very basic items, but something very interesting found its way into the bag.

She bought a new dish rack for the sink. I have mentioned this before, but we don’t have a dishwasher. I count washing the dishes as my main contribution to household chores.

I never asked for a new dish rack. I didn’t know what to make of this development and had a couple of problems with the whole situation.

Wedding Wardrobe Woes, Part 2: Electric Boogaloo

Posted inColumns, Family, Making an Idiot Out of Myself

I knew we would have fun.  As we prepared to go to my nephew’s wedding in Baltimore, that notion existed without any doubt in my mind.

I just wondered if I would go through the entire day without a problem. As it turns out, I didn’t even make it out of the house before that happened.

Our family last had a wedding six years ago. As Maria and I prepared to go to that ceremony, I realized I brought two different shoes. Luckily, I had one for each foot, but they were each from a different pair of black shoes.

Since we were in New Jersey, I had no chance to rectify the mistake and spent the whole day hoping no one noticed. I made it through unscathed, mainly because our weddings are so fun, no one really cares what shoes people are wearing.

With this ceremony in Baltimore, I figured I had a home-field advantage. We would get dressed at the house before heading down to spend the night so I had nothing to worry about. Or did I?

Doing My Part

Posted inColumns, Family

I firmly believe we should never stop trying to better ourselves. This wonderful world can offer new and exciting experiences regardless of how much we think we know.

I recently had a chance to put this belief into action. My wife wanted to paint the living room since we had a kid-free house for a few days. Even though I am not allowed to paint – that’s a long story which goes back a number of years – I did offer to help prepare things for the project.

So I moved furniture and carried the area rug upstairs. I made a Sunday morning trip to the hardware store and wandered around the aisles until we found everything on the list. I even spotted something we needed on a shelf before Maria did. That’s husband-of-the-year type stuff right there.

When we had the room all prepared and the supplies purchased, I thought I would be excused from the project. While I did have plenty of things I could accomplish on my own, particularly napping, I did want to help as much as possible.

So Maria told me I could help clean the walls. Against my better judgment, I got excited. I could actually claim that I did something helpful on a painting project.

We had purchased some special cleaning solution – that’s the stuff I found at the store – to wipe down the walls, but I had a chance to help even before we got down to that dirty work.

She let me use the Swiffer.

Beach Anniversary

Posted inBeach, Columns, Family

In 1986, my parents and a few of my siblings went on vacation to the beach together. I don’t know all the details since I was in high school and either spent that week wrestling or working.

I know that they headed to Bethany Beach, Del., where my sister’s in-laws had a condo. A month or so ago, I spent the week in Bethany with 47 family members and friends, marking the 25thstraight year our family headed to Bethany for vacation.

Like many of the things my family does, I often see the trip at first glance as just something we do. We didn’t necessarily come up with this grand plan to have a massive beach week. It just started and grew to something that provided so much fun that we never considered stopping.

Favorite Goddaughter Determined?

Posted inBeach, Columns, Family

In my family, most of us have an opportunity to serve as godparent. I have had this privilege twice, for my nieces Alanna and Colleen.

This really creates a special bond between the three of us. They were born when I was in my early 20s so I have literally watched them grow up.

We also have a fun little game where they vie for the title of “favorite goddaughter.” I don’t remember when this started, but it continues even though one has graduated college and the other will do so in the next year or two.

The game never turns ugly because we all know it’s not serious in any way, shape or form. It merely provides each one of us the opportunity to get a little dig in at the others. Like if one of them is late for something, the criteria is surely punctuality.

I have tried to decree that the only true criteria for favorite goddaughter is the one who doesn’t try to prove that she is my favorite goddaughter. This has failed miserably.

But our most recent family vacation may have provided the answer once and for all.

Adventures in Plumbing

Posted inColumns, Family

Because we don’t have a dishwasher, that regular task falls to me.  I don’t really mind because it makes me feel like I’m actually contributing to the daily maintenance of the house.

I settled myself in front of the sink over the Fourth of July weekend to attack the mountain of dishes, cups and other assorted items which we used while entertaining Maria’s family. Nothing really seemed out of the ordinary.

Then I felt something funny. I couldn’t quite figure it out at first, but realized I had a wet sock.

Soup Season Is Over

Posted inColumns, Family, Food

Like most adults, my life basically revolves around calendars. I have many of these I need to follow with varying degrees of importance.

At the top of the heap sits the calendar on the side of the refrigerator. That carries all the important information I need to make sure I end up in the right place at the right time.

Because of that, I need to check this calendar regularly. Just because something shows up on there does not mean I already knew about the event. Such is the life of the only male in the house.

But that calendar also drives the calendar I keep. This one has important sporting events on it or other key events that really only matter to me. I keep this calendar online so I can make sure I have continuous access to this information.

So keeping the two calendars – plus any work events which might affect my plans – in sync can provide a tremendous challenge. I have managed to handle this task, but now find myself vexed by a different problem: unwritten calendars.

Family Viewing Options

Posted inColumns, Family, TV

We have a ton of options on television these days. Personally, I love this fact. I can do nothing but scroll through the options over and over again seeing what I could watch if I really wanted to settle on one thing.

Some people see this development as a negative. They say we have too many things to choose from or that the choices aren’t good enough or that no one makes television like they used to.

I don’t like those people, especially those who focus on that last point. Sure, the shows that pop up on channels like MTV don’t qualify as family fare, but since we have more options, it seems logical that there will be as many junk options as good ones.

Unfortunately, these people who complain don’t seem to want to send press releases out about the shows we should be watching with our kids. So I guess I have to do that for them.

The Travels of Lucky Charms

Posted inColumns, Family

When you grow up with a large number of siblings like I did, you have difficulty trusting people. That’s just the nature of a big household, especially when you are the youngest.

Sure, you have a great support system, but while one of them is helping you, another might be lurking around the corner waiting to deliver a wedgie. Then there’s the laundry chute from the main floor of the house to the basement which you had to use with one eye peeled on the hallway lest someone try to push you down it.

I have gotten over many of these problems as the years have passed. I’m still a little flinchy and suffer more jokes than anyone else in the family, but I have long learned how to deal with those things.

At least I did until my sister threw a party this summer to celebrate her son’s engagement.