Things Could Be Worse

Posted inColumns, Music, Things I Hate

When I read about the effort to raise money at Delone Catholic High School for victims of Hurricane Katrina, I chuckled. I don’t find relief efforts funny at all. In fact, the initiative by the students is admirable.

I just find it funny that they think listening to a continuous stream of Hansen’s hit “MMMBop” – which will play all over the school until they raise $3,000 – is really that annoying.

Kids these days.

They are lucky to only have to listen to “MMMBop” in the halls. Things could be much worse.

Stop Popping

Posted inAmerica, Columns, Fashion, Things I Hate

As a child of the 1980s, I am an expert on certain topics. I remember when MTV actually played videos and you could turn to ESPN for sports. I remember “The Simpsons” when it was just a short on “The Tracey Ullman Show.” I remember when women swooned over Jon Bon Jovi.

Oh yeah, I also remember how silly guys looked walking around with the collars on their polo shirts raised.

Apparently, this fashion mistake has started to make a comeback. I have come to tell the young men of today – stop immediately.

Un-American

Posted inAmerica, Columns, Things I Hate

We went to a party at a friend’s house a couple of weeks ago. They used to be teachers, and they continue to throw an “End of the School Year” cookout. The party coincides with their oldest child’s ninth birthday. The day after the cookout, they were taking him out for a special birthday dinner.

He got to choose anything he wanted. When I was 9, I would have wanted pizza. Or hamburgers. Or pizza and hamburgers.

He chose sushi.

I had to wrap my mind around the concept of a 9-year-old even being exposed to sushi much less choosing it for a special birthday dinner.

What is happening to this country? Children don’t like sushi. Children don’t know sushi.

Children eat pizza or hamburgers on their birthday. Sushi is completely un-American.

I’ll Fix Europe

Posted inColumns, Things I Hate

I read the other day that the French voted against the proposed European constitution. The Dutch have also voted against it, but the first move pretty much doomed the document from ever being adopted. At first, I wanted to rail against the French for being stupid and ruining everything for the rest of the world, just like they always do. Then I realized that the problem didn’t lie with the French. Well, not the whole problem because we can pretty much assign a little bit of blame for everything to the French.

That’s what makes them the French.

Bad Fever

Posted inColumns, Movies, Soccer, Things I Hate

I don’t always trust people to do the right thing. If people could make the right decisions, we wouldn’t know about Ty Pennington, Britney Spears or Fitness Made Simple” by John Basedow. I feel a heavy burden because this is one of those times where I know people won’t do the right thing. I can already see the evidence.

“Fever Pitch” will be a huge hit at the box office. We can’t let that happen.

What is Wrong with People?

Posted inColumns, Things I Hate

They say that England and America are two countries separated by a common language. Apparently that’s true because they don’t understand the old adage that size doesn’t matter. Kentucky Fried Chicken has had a commercial banned in Britain because government officials say the ad misled people about the size of a chicken sandwich.

I Know Art and This Isn’t Him

Posted inColumns, Things I Hate

I have never visited Central Park in New York. But if I ever had, I don’t think I would look up the sky and think, “They should put some sheets up there.” Yet that’s exactly what performance “artists” Christo and Jeanne-Claude have done.

Their “exhibit “Gates” opened this week and a million bored people have visited the park to walk underneath huge saffron banners. They have spread 7,500 gates across 23 miles of pathways.

I’m sorry, but if that’s art, I’m getting into this racket.

Snow Sissies

Posted inColumns, Things I Hate

When I looked out the window at the snow last week, one thought went through my mind. “What is wrong with you people?”

Not you. Well, unless you’re someone who runs to the store in a panic, can’t drive in the snow and can do nothing but complain about the crews trying to clear the snow from the roads.

No More “American Idol”

Posted inColumns, Things I Hate

Later this week, millions of Americans will lose a few hours of their life forever. I wish I could stop it, but they don’t know any better. They will watch “American Idol.”

I honestly don’t understand why this phenomenon has continued so long. What tragedy has forced us to resort to a karaoke contest to find entertainers?

Jean Insanity

Posted inColumns, Fashion, Things I Hate

I did a little shopping after Christmas. I enjoy a bargain just like anyone else, so I wanted to see what I could get on the cheap. I made out OK. I got a DVD (the first season of “Arrested Development”), two pairs of pants and two pairs of shoes.

All told, I spent about $120. I generally would not like to part with that much money for clothes, but the sales helped me pry open my wallet.

Thank goodness I’m not a trendy woman.