Suitcase Paranoia

I generally like change. People who cower at anything out of the ordinary bother me. But some changes make me step back and wonder what’s going on.

When I came home from work one day last week, something new sat in the dining room. We have started to look at a bunch of repairs we need around the house, so I had grown used to new things around the house. This one, however, stood out.

My wife bought a new suitcase.

On its own, I might have dismissed the whole thing. After all, she did say she just happened upon a really good price. She wasn’t wrong when she said that the one suitcase we mainly use for travel has seen better days.

So the whole concept made complete sense. Except if you have an underlying paranoia like I do.

I try to maintain a positive attitude most of the time. After many years, I have developed into someone who enjoys the peace of a quiet morning and tries to wring every moment of enjoyment out of each day.

Some of this comes from an odd trait I have which makes me want to get more and more positive when confronted with negativity. I refuse to let people who feel the need to complain about everything get me down.

Still, I wonder if I tread on thin ice with my wife. I don’t think I’m that good of a catch no matter how much she tells me otherwise. I’ve seen lots of movies where the guy comes home to find that his wife has had enough and wants him out of the house.

Hence my worry about the suitcase.

I know my worries just come from deeply-rooted self-esteem issues which come from having your older brothers dangle you down a laundry chute. But I can’t help worrying.

All of this might sound like I’m casting a bad shadow on my wife, but nothing could be further from the truth. Even if she did buy the suitcase to send me on my way, I’d have a hard time coming up with reasons to convince her otherwise.

I truly believe we are making changes around our house so the three of us can live a happier life, but a part of me still wonders if maybe the place is being prepared for someone who will remember to take out the trash and doesn’t insist on adding “that’s what she said” to every other sentence.

Maybe I can use the new suitcase as a wakeup call even though Maria never meant it as a commentary on my status as a husband. Maybe I need to embrace my philosophy about change.

Or maybe I just need to get shut my eyes to negativity and enjoy the change all around me. Somehow blaming others for our problems and loudly protesting about things that don’t go our way has become fashionable. This is one change I don’t like.

Smile. Laugh. Spread good thoughts. Make a positive difference. These things might sound naive, but it does a lot more good than dreaming up problems which don’t exist.

Author: brian

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