Most readers probably think that the life of a regular guy is filled with glamour. In a rare look into my world, here’s a brief diary of last weekend when Maria and Bridget left me to my own devices for 36 hours. Saturday

7 a.m. – Say goodbye from underneath the covers as they head off to my mother-in-law’s. 7:01 – Roll over to get more sleep.
7:05 – Realize I won’t fall back asleep and get up.
8:30 – After goofing off on the Internet for as long as I can manage, finally get in the shower.
9 – Go out to breakfast buffet. Try not to look like the lonely guy sitting by himself as I eat my weight in sausage.
10 – Plop in recliner in the basement to watch sports and play video games.
Noon – Muster the energy to get up off my rear end and go out shopping. Wander aimlessly around Kohl’s for a while waiting for checkout lines to die down. Make mental note to count that as exercise.
1:40 p.m. – Plop back in recliner to watch sports and play PS2. Note to self – Watch Pros vs. Joes more often. Few things are more satisfying than watching a trash-talking yahoo get destroyed by a pro athlete.
5:30 – Start getting ready for Bull Roast at my work. Drive down to Owings Mills, try to eat my entrance fee in chicken wings. Lose money on games of chance, but walk away without anything from the silent auction.
11:07 – Return home. After momentary thought of going to bed, Plop back in recliner to watch sports and play video games.

Sunday

12:30 a.m. – At behest of friend online, start watching recording of Saturday Night Live. I gained a new respect for Peyton Manning. If you have not seen the fake United Way commercial he did, go to YouTube immediately. This was possibly the funniest SNL moment in years.
2 – After a momentary thought of going to bed, decide one more game at the helm of Boise State in NCAA07 on the PS2 is a good idea.
3 – Turn off PS2 and go to sleep finally.
7 – Wake up, grumble and go back to sleep.
8 – See 7 a.m.
10 – Rollover, grudgingly accept that seven hours of sleep is enough. Get up and fix big breakfast.
10:15 – Decide to mix things up and plop on the couch to watch things recorded on the Tivo.
11:50 – Watch fake United Way commercial again. Crack up again.
Noon – Take care of last minute cleaning in case Maria and Bridget get home while I am watching US Soccer match
2:15 – Take car to Jiffy Lube to accomplish something productive.
2:18 – Walk from Jiffy Lube across to Brewster’s Ice Cream to do the productive thing.
2:40 – Plop back in recliner to watch sports and play PS2.
4:15 – Make the big decision to leave Boise State where I have coached for six season in order to take the Penn State job. Apparently, 2015 is the year JoePa retires
5 – Begin grilling sausage after I realize my wife and daughter probably won’t be home soon.
5:45 – Plop back in recliner to eat dinner, watch sports and play PS2
7:30 – Hurriedly turn off PS2 when the front door opens.

I know what you’re thinking. How can one guy handle that much excitement? It must be a gift.