What’s that Smell?

I accompanied my wife on a shopping trip recently. She had to pick up some holiday items so I kind of just hung around the store and goofed off.

After I looked at all the stuff that could even remotely interest a guy, I wandered into the scented candle section. I have no idea why. I knew nothing there would interest me, but figured I would check anyway.

I hoped against hope I would find something to interest me, some candle that I could buy without looking like I had turned in my man card. I like a good scent as much as anyone else. I just don’t like to admit it.

That’s when it hit me. These candle people have totally underestimated us guys. They think we don’t want their product, when that’s not entirely true.

We don’t want the product they offer now. We don’t want candles that smell like flowers or cinnamon cookies or anything like that.

We want candles we can light on poker night without the threat of being beat up. We want candles that will fit in at a Super Bowl party. We want manly candles.

Imagine lighting a candle and smelling the sweet scent of beer and pretzels. That’s how these companies will win over the 50 percent of the market they currently thumb their nose at.

But it doesn’t stop there. Beer and pretzels are just the tip of the iceberg. Some guys might want more sophisticated smells, like whiskey or cigars. Imagine lighting one of those bad boys after you curl up in the bath.

Manly candles don’t have to focus on the vices that we men embrace. Sometimes, you have a hankering for one of your favorite foods, but know that you really shouldn’t eat anything else because your pants are already tight enough.

So rummage around in the cabinet and light up the sweet smell of pizza. You can even get pizza candles that smell like your favorite toppings. Who doesn’t like sitting in a room that smells like a pizza?

Guys also might crave steak and baked potato, but not have the time to whip up a big meal. Put that scent in a candle, and you’ll make every guy just a little bit happier.

The specialty food candles don’t have to stop there. Guys should be able to light a wick and spread the smell of nachos or popcorn or peanuts or Buffalo wings without the extra calories or the fuss of cooking.

I know this idea will work because my wife and daughter didn’t completely laugh at me when I brought it up. In fact, my daughter suggested two other scents that might appeal to the man in your life.

The first one could sell out as soon as it hits the shelves – franks and beans. Imagine dimming the lights and relaxing with the scent of hot dogs and baked beans filling the room.

Her other suggestion probably won’t sell as well, but might bring back memories for some guys trying to re-live the glory days – boy’s locker room. I don’t know about relaxing to the smell of wet towels and unwashed t-shirts.

Regardless, I think this idea has legs. Because, when you think about it, who needs to cover up what the house really smells like more than a guy?

Author: brian

3 thoughts on “What’s that Smell?

  1. Beavis and Butthead had this exact premise:

    Beavis: heh heh, Why do girls always spray themselves with flowers and crap?

    Butthead: Yeah, huh-huh-huh, if they really wanted to impress us dudes, they’d smell like nachos…or pizza.

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