Every generation has unique challenges. Some fight important wars. Some lead needed social change. Others discover ways to save the planet.
I have a different idea for how I can help my generation stand out in history. We have a very important task at hand, and this summer can begin our quest.
We need to make sure men realize that you just can’t wear socks with sandals.
I came to this realization when we went to a friend’s house for a cookout recently. They have a yearly gathering that draws a very interesting crowd of people.
Her parents and their friends come and join the fun. I have no problem with that because I really enjoy their company.
But some of them wore socks and sandals. We didn’t say anything to them, but we shared a private chuckle. I don’t want to be mean. That look just never seems right.
Lucky for me, one of our friends promised that she would always be there for me to make sure I didn’t make that mistake.
We had much more to tackle that day. I really wanted to have a talk with the young woman who showed up to the cookout in a dress and high heels.
Again, I don’t want to be mean, but either she didn’t get the concept of a cookout or she should have decked the guy who brought her.
I have to give her credit, She stuck it out for a long time without falling down on the sloped back yard or getting soaked by the kids running around with squirt guns.
I wouldn’t have felt that had if either had happened. The hosts were roasting a pig. You don’t dress up for anything where they roast the whole animal. That’s a pretty simple rule.
I guess what I’m saying is that my concept of a relaxing summer day has a lot of rules.
How can I enjoy my beer and pulled pork if I see people walking around without the proper footwear? I have already accepted that I won’t be able to convince guys that “mandals” are a bad look so I have to focus on what I can accomplish.
I don’t think we can convince some of the older generation – or the Germans – that socks and sandals don’t mix. That means we have to start a serious education campaign now.
We have two more months left in summer. I think everyone will go to several more cookouts along the way. We can get this done together.
All you have to do is sit down any guy under 50 wearing socks with sandals or any woman who dressed more for a night on the town than a day by the pool. Talk some sense into them. Let them know a pair of flip-flops will make everything alright.
They’ll write books about this, the great Relaxation Revolution of Ought Eight. We’ll all be famous.
Then we can turn our attention toward Crocs.
Quality Gaffigan reference
Oh great, socks. You know I’m dying for your sins, right? Yeah, but thanks for the SOCKS. They’ll go great with my sandals. What am I, German?
I hear you. I am morally opposed, but realize that it’s a losing battle.
Lenny is right! Real men don’t wear sandals.
Why not get right to the root of the problem and eliminate the hideous, disgusting sandals. When wearing proper footwear you should be wearing socks. So the problem is not socks.
When I stay away from fried foods, yes.
are you really regular