No, I haven’t decided to go all U2 on my readers, but something absolutely wonderful happened today. It wasn’t the two R.E.M. songs I heard on XM in the first 15 minutes of my commute, which happened almost two hours earlier than usual today. It wasn’t the free lunch I got. It wasn’t the delicious Toffee Nut Latte I had on the drive in.

American Gladiators is coming back.

This is seriously one of the best pieces of TV news I have heard in ages. A while back, I traced the downfall of American society to the cancellation of AG. I now firmly believe that America will get stronger once NBC puts the show on the air.

All they have to do is find contestants. If you want to be a part of the greatest show in the history of television, you can apply using this 22-page form. They ask some real important questions for something that is designed to be a test of physical strength:

• What pets do you own now, or have owned at any time in the past?
• If you were going to be in People magazine, what inside info about you would be put up next to your picture?
• Draw a picture of yourself

So despite everything I have written above, I’m not sure if I want to watch this show. I want to see a dude do a front flip over a gladiator in order to avoid a tackle in Breakthrough and Conquer. I don’t want to know about someone’s pet. They’re gonna ruin this show.

Since I can’t find a video of that flip = it was the most amazing thing ever – I leave you with Malibu and one of the greatest AG moments ever.