As I sit down to write this column, something doesn’t feel quite right. I have started to have bouts of heartburn which drive me crazy. I know I shouldn’t eat certain things at certain times, but can’t help myself.
So I try and take it easy the next morning with a nagging pain in my gut. Getting old stinks.
The good thing is that I know it will go away. I know I can modify my habits. I know I will feel better soon. I wish I could say the same for my mental faculties.
I haven’t become more forgetful or started to deal with bouts of confusion. I still make it home safely at the end of the day. The problem is that, once I make it home, my daughter may want to play a game. That’s the part which makes me start to feel really bad about myself.
Usually she just wants to play “Sorry!” This is a family favorite which has spawned some epic battles over the years, but no real bad blood. Sometimes she chooses “Life” or “Battleship,” both of which pass the time and really just come down to luck.
But lately she has started to choose an older game which has really made me question my worth as a father, a husband and a contributing member of the community.
Bridget likes to challenge me to games of “Connect Four.”
On the face of things, this should not sound like a big deal. The game has a simple premise which should play right into the hands of a college graduate taking on a sixth-grader.
We all know the old adage of the best-laid plans, however. Every time I thought I had a handle on strategy, I would get distracted by something and lose a game in short order.
The game had a great commercial back in the 1980s where a brother and sister played the game together. He won the first game easily before she exacted revenge by using a diagonal to win the next game. That elicited the memorable catch phrase, “Pretty sneaky, sis.”
Our games go exactly like that commercial except I lose both easy and trick games, and I want to saying something a lot stronger than “Pretty sneaky, sis.”
Now I don’t want people to think I didn’t win my share of games. I just managed to lose games in ways that made me wonder whether someone had spiked my drink.
Beyond the problem of losing simple games in less than 10 moves (since she only needs four pieces to win, you can see why this upsets me), something more serious has me concerned.
Bridget knows how much this bugs me so she keeps picking Connect Four. She’s smart enough to beat me and savvy enough to push my buttons. I just can’t win.
I want to try and convince her that we should play Candy Land, but she won’t fall for it. That’s the best chance I have at winning consistently because I used to have to cheat so she could win when she was little to make her happy.
Maybe she’ll take pity on me and throw a few games of Connect Four to make things even. Somehow, I don’t see that happening.