Lettuce Struggle

Every once in a while, I get a hankering to make positive changes in my diet. I take stock of what I have been eating and vow to eat healthier.

Of course, my most recent attempt at this came right after I bought a bunch of mini candy bars on sale to keep in my desk drawer at work. But this is work in progress so I’ll just consider those rewards for a job well done.

Besides trying to cut down on snacks when I get in this frame of mind, I also try and have a healthier lunch. I can pretty much control that since dinner can get crazy with all the running around we do.

The first step in this process involves a head of lettuce. This is also where I make the problems even worse.

I am well known for my aversion to vegetables. Actually, the legend of my aversion outranks the reality these days. I still hate certain ones, but I have expanded the list of ones I will eat drastically as an adult.

I really have no quibble with eating a salad for lunch. I particularly enjoy having a homemade version of a chicken Caesar salad once in a while using chicken breasts I have cooked on the grill.

Unfortunately, I have learned that I don’t know how to properly get the lettuce I want for my salad.

When I made my first salad of the week, I grabbed the head of lettuce in the fridge, ripped off a bunch from the top and went about my merry way. The next day, I did the same thing.

Then I learned I had to pull off a few individual leaves of lettuce, tear them up and eat that for lunch. Apparently, my original way took all the good parts of the lettuce and left the dregs for my wife.

I still don’t understand the problem completely. I mean, if I have to eat healthy, shouldn’t I get all the best parts of the healthy food? Since I got to the lettuce first, don’t I get to choose which parts I want? This did not go over well with the Lettuce Advisory Board in my house.

So I will do better the next time and share the good parts of the romaine. I don’t have to like it though because if I have to make my salad include all the parts of the lettuce, the other problem with healthy eating will get even worse.

The excitement of making a healthy meal peaks in the morning when you are packing your lunch for the day. The mood turns to grudging acceptance by the time noon rolls around.

When that first thought of “Ooooh, it’s almost time for lunch” pops in your head, your brain immediately recalls that a salad awaits. Then it mentally calculates how much money you have in your wallet and whether it’s worth blowing off the salad for the pizza place down the street.

This is truly one of man’s greatest struggles. I don’t know how I manage to keep myself from choosing pizza each and every time. And now I’ll have to do it with some of the bottom of the head of lettuce waiting for me. Life truly is not fair.

Author: brian

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