One of the guiding principles for writers is the “rule of three.” Basically, using three examples for something tends to work better, especially in comedy. But as Mike, my oldest nephew, recently pointed out, the theory also applies to parenting.
You see, Mike has three kids with a fourth one on the way. He and his wife both work. In short, they have enough on their hands as it is. He figured the rule of three worked in his favor – he only had to worry about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy with his kids.
But some parents just can’t leave well enough alone. Some parents need to up the ante for their kids, thereby potentially putting pressure on other parents to follow suit. Some parents love the Elf on the Shelf.
Since my stance on this particular new tradition has already generated some heat privately, let me just say that I do love Christmas and really don’t care what other parents do. I just agree with Mike that the Elf can violate the sacred agreement between parents that we stick to the fat man at Christmas, the chocolate-loving bunny and the sprite with a dental fetish.
The elf might seem like a goofy little tradition that makes the holiday season a little more fun in your house. I don’t doubt that. But think of the 5-year-old who comes home from Christmas wondering why the magical being who visits his friends doesn’t come to his house.
This is a whole lot different than “Why can’t I get the bike that Sally has?” because 5-year-olds think of magical elves and bikes as one and the same. The things that someone else has simply exist as temptations regardless of what they are.
It’s kind of hard to tell your child that the magical elf assigned to your house just really has a busy December because end-of-the-year reports are due and someone has to carpool everyone around town, so there’s just not enough time to move from place to place in the house, all with increasingly humorous situations because what good is a holiday tradition if you can’t share it on Facebook?
The elf – which is actually based on a holiday tradition from the family which wrote the 2005 book introducing the craze – already has complicated rules in place. Children cannot touch the elf. The elf only moves when children are asleep. The elf magically leaves on Christmas Eve.
So to keep the sanctity of the rule of three, let’s add another rule: you can’t tell anyone outside the family about the elf. That way, parents can have their fun little game, kids might be scared into thinking a slip of the lip can ruin everything, and parents who don’t use the elf can blame an older sibling’s big mouth on why the Elf on the Shelf doesn’t come to their house.
Things already get complicated enough around the holidays with a million Santas running around. We don’t need rogue elves making life more difficult for parents.