When I went away last weekend, I got a chance to look around the greatest mall in the world. Skymall.
Those of you who have never flown need to check this place out. If you have flown and don’t love Skymall – what is wrong with you?
Imagine sitting comfortably looking at the most incredibly cool items ever. Multiply that by 10 and you have Skymall.
I think I can finally say I am happy if I manage to buy a few things from their handy catalog. They really do have the solutions to everyone’s problems.
For instance, when we renovated our bathroom earlier this year, I wanted a whirlpool tub. But we didn’t have room because the bathroom is pretty small to begin with
Oh, and my wife told me I couldn’t have one.
Skymall has come to the rescue.
For just $900, I can get a portable inflatable whirlpool spa. We have lots of room in the basement, so I can sit and watch sports in my new luxury whirlpool.
I can also invite three friends since the spa fits four adults comfortably. I should probably invite some people over anyway since I’ll need help getting the 250 gallons of water into the thing.
I’ll really need a soak after that.
Skymall doesn’t just make life more convenient for you. They have your pets in mind as well.
For just $100, you can get your cat its own washroom. The piece looks like a regular piece of decorative furniture for your bathroom, but has a hole for the cat to climb through.
The litterbox goes inside. Yeah, I’m not kidding. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.
I’d still get it just to say I had it if I had enough money. And that’s the key with Skymall – you need a lot of money to really have fun with it.
For instance, if I won the lottery and got a place with a pool, I would go crazy with Skymall. I could get the Fiesta Private Island for just $400. Naturally, I would need to spend up to $100 getting the inflatable cooler to go with it.
With the Fiesta Private Island, seven friends could join me in their own seats (with countoured backrests) as we floated on the pool.
We could watch as the rest of the people at the party had fun on the $700 Thrill Zone, a seven-foot-high “amusement center” with a water slide and moon bounce.
And those are just a few things you can find in Skymall. Don’t even get me started on the line of automatic bathroom accessories and endless choice of portable ice makers.
Some people might say that the Mall of America is the greatest mall in the world. That’s insane. Roller coasters don’t belong in malls. They only belong in amusement parks and Vegas.
The best mall is the one that lets you order things while you sit in your own home, preferably if you’re sitting in your new portable hot tub.