An Arresting Problem

Experts say that everything you do online could potentially haunt you forever. If that’s the case, I have put myself in deep trouble this week.

We are in the middle of rehearsals for the upcoming production of “Sin, Sex & the CIA” at Hanover Little Theatre, and I volunteered to help find an important prop.

We need handcuffs. You’ll have to come to the show to find out why, but we I promise that you will laugh when you see why we needed them.

At first, I thought this was a pretty simple activity. I have helped chase down various props for several other productions. We have loaned items from our house for set decorations. That’s just how it works in community theatre.

But this one carried a risk I had not anticipated when I started searching on Amazon for handcuffs.

First of all, to put it delicately, a lot of people don’t buy handcuffs with a theatrical production or law enforcement in mind. I knew this going in, but those kind of “recreational” uses jump right to the top of the search listings.

That’s not why we needed them for the play. I promise.

So once I stopped giggling over handcuffs covered with fur, I started to take a look at the reviews from people who had bought the ones that looked normal.

Some of the comments came from people who had bought the item as a child’s play toy. But some others came from adults who seemed very eager to share just how and why they needed handcuffs and how this particular item worked.

Now I’m all for consenting adults doing what they want to do, but I really don’t see the need to share that information online, especially when some of the reviews used what seemed like real names.

I moved past that, however, and did a little more research. When I saw a pair of handcuffs that looked OK, but might not have fit our needs, I checked the section below the item where it tells you what things that people who bought this thing also bought.

Once again, I did not need all of that information. But now I am worried that some of the ladies wearing the “lingerie” that some people paired with handcuffs may catch a cold. It really didn’t cover much.

Once I re-gained my composure I went ahead and bought the handcuffs we needed – without any additional items that might shock anyone in the audience.

As they made their way through the shipping process, I started to worry a little. If anyone ever gains access to my browser history, what would they think?

I just needed handcuffs for fun, not for any nefarious purpose. I didn’t mean to click on any links that may have led to something unseemly. I’m a curious guy. You can’t help but wonder what other folks are doing.

I promise I only bought the handcuffs, and we only need them to make you laugh. I guess you’ll have to come out for yourself to make sure I’m telling the truth.

Author: brian

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