Dining Etiquette

Sometimes people complain that our lawmakers pay too much attention to frivolous laws. I tend to agree. I saw something last weekend that requires immediate legislative action. Enough of worrying about healthcare and education and public safety.

We need to take care of dining etiquette.

Maria and Bridget left me alone for the weekend so I enjoyed one of my favorite things – breakfast out.

I really enjoy sitting alone, getting fueled up for the day, reading the paper, and people watching.

The meal was pretty uneventful. My French toast was good. The coffee perked me up. No problems whatsoever.

Then, it happened. A man and a woman came in and sat down at a booth across the room. Sounds harmless, right? Wrong.

They sat on the same side of the booth.

I gave them the benefit of the doubt for a minute. Surely, they were expecting others. No one in their right mind sits on the same side of the booth when the other side is wide open, just begging for some company.

No one came. They just say there next to each other. They didn’t even look that happy to be there. Maybe if you can’t keep your hands off of someone, you sit right next to them. But I didn’t get that feeling.

I almost got another cup of coffee to see if I could figure out what was going on. I wanted to ask the waitress if she inquired about their unusual seating arrangement.

Sure, I could have gone up and asked them myself, but I’m too chicken. That’s why we need lawmakers to stop this insanity.

These people are probably the same ones that order something, then complain about one of the ingredients or how it was prepared.

I wonder if those kind of people understand the concept of restaurants. They make food for a lot of people. They don’t tailor the recipes to each individual customer.

There is one caveat to that rule – they might if you ask them before they bring you the food.

Very few people are pickier eaters than I am. One little thing can really ruin a meal for me. So I do something very novel when I go out to eat.

I make sure I know what is in or on my food before I order it. I don’t ask a million questions, but I get the information I need.

If that doesn’t work or I forget to ask before I order, I do something that some people must find so strange. I scrape off the thing I don’t like.

People who make the server take something back because they failed to find out if their pickiness would be satisfied should be shown the door. Especially if they say, “I didn’t know this came with (insert ingredient here).”

If you don’t like it, make sure it isn’t in there.

So Lord help me if I ever go out and see people sitting on the same side of the booth and complaining about their food. I honestly don’t know if I could handle that.

I hope they’ll make a law against that.

Author: brian

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