A flier came home from school the other week. Since Bridget has entered the third grade, she could now sign up to learn an instrument.
At first the thought of rudimentary violin being played in the house might not sound like the greatest idea in the world, but I knew I could not let this chance pass by.
You see, I have absolutely no musical talent whatsoever. And I blame the nuns.
I went to parochial school. Actually, I didn’t go to a school without nuns or priests until I started college. Don’t take that as a criticism of Catholic education. I think the schools I attended have played a tremendous difference in my life.
In terms of music, however, that difference is not a positive one.
I changed schools as I headed into the fourth grade. I really don’t remember the musical offerings at my first school, but I have vivid memories of what they did at St. Mark.
Music took place once a week, I think. We all trudged down – dressed identically in our gray pants, white shirts and maroon ties for the boys – to the basement where the music teacher waited for us.
I never had anything personally about this nun. She never did me any harm, except music class each week. There were were, a bunch of 9-year-olds in a semi-orderly chorus arrangement with a nun who was pushing 90 leading the way.
We would sing pretty much nothing but hymns. And some weird scale which was designed, I think, to warm up our voices. All I know is that I spent more time than necessary trying to figure out what “new, no, nah, nay, nee” had to do with anything.
I remember complaining about music class with a friend once, and he told me he had a secret that made the time enjoyable. He would substitute AC/DC lyrics for the hymns and sing softly. That way, he could look like he was participating, but didn’t have to worry about the hymn. Pure genius.
Two things prevented me from pulling off something like that. First off, I stood in the front row because I was short so she could see me the entire time. Secondly, I didn’t have the skill to sing the words of one song to the tune of another.
For five years, we went through the same thing with the same nun in music class. No one got a chance to learn an instrument, no one ever sang a solo, no one really did anything except grit their teeth and do what we had to do without getting detention.
I tried to play guitar in junior high, but never had a lot of success and eventually gave it up for sports. I started playing again a couple of years ago in the basement for fun, but wish I head learned more about music in general as a kid.
That’s why I want Bridget to play the violin even if I have to listen to her struggles in these early stages of the lessons. I’ll just try to sing AC/DC lyrics along as she plays.