We all have suffered through the heat in recent weeks. At times, it has been almost unbearable. The heat has been so bad, I think some people have lost control of their faculties. I point to the proliferation of iced coffee drinks as evidence.
I remember the first time I heard of iced coffee. Someone asked me to make it for them when I worked food service at Harborplace in Baltimore.
I knew something was wrong, and I didn’t even drink regular coffee at the time. Now that I have fully committed myself to caffeine addiction, I understand even more why iced coffee is so, so wrong.
For a while, I thought it was an isolated thing. After all, only a few people asked for it when I used to schlep drinks for tourists. But now I see it advertised at McDonald’s.
What is America coming to?
Let’s get things straight – coffee is to be served hot. That’s it. End of discussion. If you want a cold drink, get some water. If you need the caffeine, that’s why God invented Coke.
This has gone way beyond just pouring coffee over ice, thanks to Starbucks. You can get oodles of cold and frozen coffee drinks now. They even made cold coffee drinks in cans, which makes me wonder when the Communists took over.
Besides ruining the entire essence of coffee, these fancy drinks pack a serious punch to your waistline. Some of them have more calories than a Big Mac.
If you are American and need something with 650 calories, you should be eating a Big Mac, not drinking a Frappucino. What kind of word is Frappucino anyway?
A regular cup of coffee has hardly any calories. And you can get a Diet Coke with no calories. So why defile the true nature of coffee and pack on the calories?
I look on iced coffee like I would heated beer. It just makes no sense. Some drinks are just created for a specific temperature. Coffee is one of them.
You don’t see people running out there making cold toddies, do you? Or sipping a nice, steaming cup of lemonade?
The only exception I can think of is apple cider. I don’t quite know why, but it works perfectly both ways.
When I discussed this with someone, they asked me my opinion on iced tea. To me, that’s OK because I don’t like hot or iced tea so I don’t really care how people drink that. Knock yourself out.
My wife took it further and asked about my position on hot chocolate and chocolate milk. That is a totally different scenario. Chocolate milk is made of milk and chocolate syrup. Hot chocolate is a powder. They are barely even related.
I just worry that the kids today will grow up thinking that you can just pour a hot drink over ice and have a refreshing beverage. Life isn’t that easy.
It’s bad enough they live in a world with cola slushies, apple slices as a substitute for French fries at fast food restaurants and some people who dip their Buffalo wings in ranch instead of blue cheese.
Let them sip warm coffee and cold soda. Kids are the future. It’s the least we can do.