By now, everyone has probably heard about the Salahis, the couple which went to a state dinner at The White House without an invitation.
If you haven’t, count yourself lucky. This couple joins the ever-growing ranks of people intent on doing whatever it takes to become famous for no real reason at all.
They wanted to get on the latest incarnation of the “Real Housewives” franchise – something that is neither real nor features housewives, but that’s a whole different topic – and like to put themselves in the spotlight.
Which is how they ended up pushing and pushing for an invitation to the state dinner until some Secret Service agents basically decided they weren’t worth dealing with and let them in.
So what do we do now? There has been a lot of talk about punishing White House staff and the Secret Service guys who let them through. That’s all well and good. My first suggestion is that when someone shows up and isn’t on the guest list, but insists they belong, the first question should be “Have you ever been on or aspired to be on a reality show?”
If that’s the case, they shouldn’t be at a state dinner. That should be a pretty basic standard for the guest list. If you’re famous, you can go. If you’re trying to become famous, hit the road.
Now that we have that fire under control, we need to decide what to do to the Salahis. They can’t just get off scot-free, but I don’t think this situation calls for a traditional punishment.
Sure, you can fine them or give them community service, but would they really learn a lesson from that?
They really like to try and live the jet-set lifestyle. They like to go to fancy dinners and have their pictures taken with celebrities so that it looks like they are friends. They like to wear fancy clothes. We need to punish them in a way which they will truly understand.
How about one year of eating at nothing but family-style chain restaurants? I have no problem with places like those, but I bet people like the Salahis find them crass. So make them eat deep-fried onions and soup served in bread bowls for a while like us common folk. They need to see some servers with flair.
I also think they need to shop at nothing but discount stores for a while. Maybe a few months of roaming the aisles with people looking for the best discount they can find will make them come to grips with reality. Don’t let them buy anything that costs more than $50 and watch them weep.
And by all means, no digital camera, no Blackberry and no GPS. Give them a pre-paid cell phone with a camera that turns every photo into something out of the Blair Witch Project and a few maps they have to unfold whenever they need to find directions. To steal a line from a famous reality show, it’s time to get real.
I don’t have much hope that they will have to actually live like normal people for a while, but they did have to give up an expensive watch recently to pay off a contractor who they owed money so I guess I can dream.
Oooooo…Denny’s for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Every day. So cruel, so so cruel.