So, So, So Wrong

I took my daughter to see “Alvin and the Chipmunks 2: The Squeakuel” last week. I took one for the team, you might say. Surprisingly, the movie was not the most disturbing thing I saw that day.

As we waited for David Cross to complete the final task in the transaction he made with Lucifer at some point in the past, something very, very wrong played on the screen.

If you chose not to watch that – something I think you should do for your own sanity – the video is a trailer for “The Karate Kid.” No, not the good one, but a new version which is coming out sometime this year. I can’t begin to describe the many ways that violates the sanctity of the entertainment industry.

The worst part is that they wait until one minute and 42 seconds into a two-minute long trailer to let you know that Daniel Larusso’s legacy is being defiled. For 101 seconds, you think it’s just an overly dramatic movie starring Will Smith’s kid and Jackie Chan. Then they drop the bomb on you.

First off, Daniel moved from Jersey to California and had to settle his differences with some snotty kids i nhis school. He didn’t move from the U.S. to China (where they teach Kung Fu, not karate) and have to deal with a whole new culture.

Secondly, while I can’t believe Jackie Chan is trying to fill the role Pat Morita did so well, at least Chan knows that the whole idea is kind of silly.

“I don’t know [what it’s going to be called],” Chan admitted of the film, which is due to hit theaters in June. “Probably ‘Kung Fu Kid’ in China and ‘Karate Kid’ in America. Maybe a different title? I don’t know. But mostly we’ve called it ‘The Kung Fu Kid.’”

To some, the difference may seem minor. But to those who treat 1984’s “Karate Kid” as a classic –- including star Ralph Macchio himself -– a name like “Kung Fu Kid” might signal a welcomed desire by the film to stand on its own merits.

“It’s a totally different story; a totally different story,” Chan insisted, arguing that the movie is not a strict remake. “I was in China, Jaden [Smith] was all the way from America. [The family moves] to China, then they see me, then it’s [about] how I teach him martial arts.”

Lastly, part of what makes the original so beloved is how it captured such a fascinating time in America. Johnny Lawrence is believable. Everyone probably knew a douche like the “put him in a body bag” kid. And Kreese is a perfect villain. This isn’t the 80s.

I hadn’t heard they were re-doing this flick so I need to get all my outrage out now as its debut approaches. Chan did say in the interview that the crane kick will not be part of the movie, which is a small consolation. I just wish they would come up with new ideas instead of doing things like this, but that leads to movies like MacGruber so there seems to be no winning.

Author: brian

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