Things Could Be Worse

When I read about the effort to raise money at Delone Catholic High School for victims of Hurricane Katrina, I chuckled. I don’t find relief efforts funny at all. In fact, the initiative by the students is admirable.

I just find it funny that they think listening to a continuous stream of Hansen’s hit “MMMBop” – which will play all over the school until they raise $3,000 – is really that annoying.

Kids these days.

They are lucky to only have to listen to “MMMBop” in the halls. Things could be much worse.

I wonder how quickly they could raise the money if they played “The Safety Dance” by Men Without Hats? Especially if they have ever seen the video. I hear that song once and I think I see a dwarf dancing around everywhere I go. I’d pony up three grand in a minute.

Of course, you could close your eyes and point to any selection on a list of Phil Collins “hits” and find something that would make “MMMBop” sound like the best song you have ever heard.

Delone Principal Maureen Thiec said “MMMBop” has resulted in people singing along and dancing in the hallways. See, it’s not a bad song.

I don’t know why something catchy and fun gets such a bad rap. I know the students found this idea from a leadership seminar, so I really don’t blame them. I want to find the guy who has decided to sully the name of Hanson and have a little chat with him.

If a bunch of high school students somewhere else came up with the idea, I bet they are just jealous because Hanson thought of the song first. After all, the oldest was only 16 when they released the 1996 album.

In the end, the band has to share some of the blame. They once performed on Saturday Night Live, which featured a skit that had them snapping after listening to the song over and over again in an elevator. They destroyed their own genius.

When the original organizers of this campaign decided to inflict Hanson on others, I wonder if they had ever heard of “Rico Suave” by Gerardo? Or “Ice, Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice. Or “Achy, Breaky Heart” by Billy Ray Cyrus.”

I tell you, “MMMBop” is nothing compared to those gems. Why go with one song, anyway? Why not play a sound track of horrible tunes from the past. The teachers alone might pony up the cash to make it stop.

I only scratched the surface of the songs I think will raise money much faster than Hanson. Of course, I had to disqualify many selections because kids like them.

But in order to annoy, they didn’t necessarily have to delve into the world of pop. Ask any parent of a child under 6 about the soundtrack their own personal hell – The Wiggles, the theme to “Dragon Tales.”

I love all those songs, but when you hear them over and over (and over and over) again, you kind of wonder if you’ll ever enjoy music again.

And we haven’t even talked about The Spice Girls. Believe me, you don’t want to go there.

Author: brian

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