The women’s movement has come a long way. But I have learned recently that the fairer sex still has a lot of ground to gain.
For instance, trousers.
My wife got a catalog from a well-known retailer the other day. I started flipping through it for some unknown reason.
I have a real problem with what’s going on with women’s pants these days.
First off, do you really need this many options? Regular pants, capris, cropped pants, shorts, skorts and something called boyfriend jeans. I don’t even want to know what that means.
But beside an array of choices that must make your head hurt, they are completely ripping you off, ladies.
This company charges you the same money for a pair of regular khakis and a pair of “cropped” pants, which I have now found out are different than capri pants, thanks to my wife. And they are both different than pedal pushers.
I dug into this controversy deeper – something that might get my Man Card revoked – and found out that cropped pants are 75 percent shorter than regular pants. And you don’t get any type of discount.
Forget equal pay for equal work. You should demand equal price for equal fabric.
When I saw the two types of pants with the same price on one page, I figured maybe it was a special deal for that particular style, but it was everywhere through the catalog.
I’m offended for you, ladies. I haven’t been this mad since Talking Barbie complained about math.
My concern here goes beyond the price of cropped pants, however. These people are trying you to change your clothing style far too often.
The date on the catalog was “Late Summer 2006.” So you need special kinds of clothes for part of a season now?
What happened to one catalog for each season? What’s next? Are they going to come out with the “Unexpected Cold Snap in May” collection? Or the “Why in the Heck is it Hot in February” line?
There are four seasons, which means four catalogs. Plus one extra one for Christmas. Congress needs to take care of this.
I also couldn’t make heads or tails of the swimsuits in the catalog. For some reason, the company has created some bizarre set of symbols to describe which suits fit which body types.
I don’t know about you, but women are much more than a star or a rectangle or an upside down triangle to me. Besides, it’s just confusing.
What if I wanted to buy my wife a bathing suit? I wouldn’t because, after almost 11 years of marriage, I have learned that there are certain things I don’t buy for her.
Anyway, I have invested lots of time during our marriage learning what size she wears in all various types of clothing. Now I need to learn shapes?
We have put most of Bridget’s baby toys away. Would I really have to go to the attic, get her toy shapes and hold them up against my wife’s silhouette until I found a match?
Is that how we’re shopping for bathing suits now? Maybe I’ll stick with buying pants. I just hope I pick the right style.